Nonfiction Book Reviews

Surviving Hitler: A Boy in the Nazi Death Camps by Andrea Warren is a well-written biography of Jack Mandelbaum, a boy living just inside Poland’s borders at the beginning of World War II.  It is a young adult book - I would say the child reading it would need to be at least 9 or 10 - and even though it was written for that age group, it was so well-written, I still enjoyed it.

It starts out with Jack as a child in Poland, and the happy upbringing that he had.  Although his grandparents were Jewish, his parents were not devout, and so Jack considered himself Polish first, and Jewish as a far, far second.  When the war started, Jack was excited, like any 12-year-old boy would be, at the sight of soldiers matching and the naval ships readying to fight against Hitler.  He was sure that Poland would be able to beat Hitler in a week.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it happened, and things got progressively worse for Jack, his family, and the Jews in Poland in general.  He eventually ends up in the concentration camps, and he talked about the friends who helped him, the horrible jobs he was given, and the starvation that surrounded him.  Although there are obviously a lot of bad things happening to him and everyone around him, Jack was a naturally optimistic person, and the book never got really depressing (except a little at the end).

Overall, I enjoyed it - it tended to read a little simplistically, but then again, I wasn’t the intended age group for the book, so I can’t really complain.  If you are studying the Holocaust with your children, and you want a companion book for The Diary of Anne Frank, this would be the perfect complement: It is from the point of view of a boy, and it covers the concentration camps, so your children can get a more well-rounded view of what happened in that terrible atrocity.

I give Surviving Hitler 4.5 stars out of 5.

Havs

I had my yearly review done at the library about a month or so ago, and on it, there were two things that I was told I needed to work on: Coming to work on time, and not chatting so much with my coworkers.

Usually, people don’t find humor in the feedback on the “negative” portion of their reviews, but this just made me laugh, mainly because it summed me up so well.  I am not a morning person, so the three days of the week that I help open the library at 9:00, it’s a struggle for me to get out of bed.  (I know, I shouldn’t be complaining - 9:00 is not that early, but again: I am not a morning person.  Anything before 11:00 is too early.)  So yes, I need to be better at getting to work on time.

Then the “not chatting so much” part…well, that’s an even bigger struggle for me.  As I’ve said before, I’m an outgoing librarian, and I tend to like to talk to everyone.  I blame it on my parents (convenient, I know.  Of course, I claim the credit for my positive attributes).  But, I’m one of those people who has a direct line between their minds and their mouths, and I say pretty much everything I think.  It’s rather annoying at times, and apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks that.

Which makes it all the funnier that today, I woke up mute.

It all started yesterday morning, when I woke up with a sore throat.  Sometimes, my throat has just gotten dry during the night, and all I need to do is drink some water and I’ll be fine.  So I wasn’t too worried, until the drinking water trick didn’t work.  It really hurt.  The best I could do was a frog croaky whisper voice, and even that was only produced with considerable pain.  Yay me.

I debated: Should I go to work?  Half of me said that we’re busy, we’re shorthanded, and I can’t call in sick, and the other half of me said that I shouldn’t go to work and spread this (whatever is) to others.  The “we’re busy” half won out, and I headed off to work.

Luckily, one of my coworkers (Dan, I’ll love you forever!) was kind enough to volunteer to finish my shift for me, so I only had to work 4 hours yesterday instead of 6.  My boss, Martha, warned me that today was going to be even worse in terms of being shorthanded, so all I could do was hope that today, I’d be feeling better.

Except when I woke up, I was mute.  No whispering, no croaky voice, no nothing.  I could mouth words, and that was about it.  My husband thought it was the funniest thing ever, and spent most of the morning teasing me.  “What did you say?” he’d ask.  “You gotta speak louder.”

Ha ha.

But I really can’t get too mad, because quite frankly, if the situations were reversed, I’m sure I’d be razzing him even more.  It really is fun to say things when you know your spouse can’t respond.

Too bad I was the mute spouse…

I wrote out a nice note to my boss at home, telling her that I could do check in, or notices, or other jobs like that, but that I wouldn’t be able to work with the patrons today.  I didn’t want to wait until work and then have to either pantomime my problem, or have her stand there while I wrote.  I was all sorts of prepared, and I was proud of myself.

When I got to work and scurried around doing the morning routine before we opened, I kept glancing at the clock.  Where was she?  Martha (my boss) hadn’t shown up yet.  I finally went back and looked at the schedule, and realized with dismay that she had taken the day off, and had scheduled a coworker, Gennifer, to work with me.  I had already addressed my note to Martha, and would feel rather stupid handing it to someone else, but too late now.

But hold on - where’s Gennifer?  She’s one of those worrier types who shows up early, does everything like she’s supposed to, and constantly worries that she’s supposed to be doing something better.  Love her to death, as dependable as can be, and there is no way she would simply do a no-show.

With one minute to go until opening, I frantically scribbled at the bottom of my Martha Note, an explanation that Martha wasn’t actually working today, and Gennifer (her replacement) was nowhere to be found.  I ran it over to the reference desk, who spent a good minute or so just laughing at my predicament (again, muteness is hilarious as long as it’s not you it’s happening to!) and then she hurried off to figure out what to do.

I was stuck opening the front doors and letting in the group of patrons in the foyer who were waiting to come in.  Forced to help them get onto internet stations, I did my job completely mute, and felt dumber than a pile of rocks.  More than a couple of the patrons looked at me askance, and I could tell they were trying to figure out if it would be polite to ask me what was happening.

None of them did, until I helped a regular who said, as I scanned his card, “You don’t talk much do you?” I was shocked.  I’ve helped him more times than I can count, and I obviously wasn’t afflicted with laryngitis previously.  Have I always been quiet around him?  Never once in my life have I been accused of not talking very much.  In fact, if I could say one thing for sure, it would be that I need to learn how to shut up more often.

I couldn’t explain my situation, of course, and just smiled helplessly as his friend said, “Well, maybe she only talks when she has something worth saying.”  I could only smile at her too, unable to clarify anything.  I would have bet good money that one of my coworkers put the patrons up to this, except it happened just minutes after we opened, which I wouldn’t think would give them enough time to orchestrate it. Otherwise…

So seriously: What are the chances that this conversation would happen today, of all days?

They finally got someone from another department to come up and help me, and I was able to escape to go do check in and the notices.  They got a hold of Gennifer, who had no idea she was supposed to come in at 9:00 (Told you so! I wanted to say, but of course, I couldn’t) and she promised to be there by 10:00.  I pushed my way through the day, and finished everything I had to do, with 30 minutes left ’til the end of my shift.

I wrote yet another note and gave it to the director, asking if I could go home early, and she (bless her heart!!!) said yes.  I walked home, and as I contemplated the day, I realized: At least I couldn’t be accused of talking too much to my coworkers today, right?

There’s always a silver lining to every sore throat…

Havs

PS I’d love some feedback on the go-to-work-sick vs stay-at-home-and-don’t-spread-the-sickness debate.  What side do you guys take?  If you know work is busy and short-staffed, would you stay home if you had a cold, or go in anyway?  Any thoughts?

About six weeks back or so, I had a patron come up to the front counter and ask me, “So, where is your daughter at tonight?”

“I’m sorry?” I said, flummoxed.  I have no children.

“The girl over at reference.  She’s your daughter, isn’t she?  Short dark brown hair…” he prompted me.

“Ann?” I said.  “Big smile, beautiful, petite?”

“Yeah, that’s her!  You guys look alike.  Aren’t you mother and daughter?”

I stared at him, bug-eyed.  Ann was all of 26.5 years old.  I’m 27.  That would have required me to get pregnant while still in the womb, and then give birth while only 6 months old myself.  Believe me, if that was my life story, I would be doing something a whole lot more wild and interesting than working at the local public library; something like living through numerous science lab experiments to see how it all happened.  Heck, I would at least be gracing the front pages of The Star (along with the obligatory stories of Elvis being spotted at the local supermarket, of course).

I must break from the story for a moment to give you some insight into this patron.  We call him The Tie-Dye Man, and we weren’t exactly being creative when we came up with the name.  He wears tie-dye clothing Every. Single. Day.  I’m not talking your standard tie-dye shirt - he also wears tie-dye pants, tie-dye socks, and to top it all off, he even paints his fingernails different colors - one finger will be blue, another purple, another green, and so on.

He is…eye-catching.  The wild clashing colors ensure that you would notice him 200 yards off.  He’s one of our more memorable patrons at the library, to put it nicely.

Trying to be gracious, I finally swallowed my shock, put on my best customer service face, and told him, “Ann is pretty close to my age, so no, she’s not my daughter, although she is very pretty, so I take it as a compliment that you think I look like her.” I smile evenly and turn to put something away.

So what does he do?  He then has the gall to ask me out!!!!  After insulting me and thinking that I’m old enough to be a 26.5 year old’s mother, he wants to go on a date with me?!

He is a crazy man.  That’s all there is to it.  The tie-dye clothing is just an outer symptom of an inner insanity (big shock there).

I laughed it off and said something about my husband probably not taking that too well, and walked away.  Inwardly, I was torn between laughing and crying.  Am I really aging that badly?  I haven’t even hit 30 yet, and this crazy guy is causing to me have a midlife crisis.

So of course the next day, I had to tell Ann all about the incident.  We’ve taken to calling each other mother and daughter, and it’s become a nice inside joke between us.

Well tonight, my “daughter” told me that she had a run-in with the patron herself.  Yesterday, he was walking towards her, and she saw him out of the corner of her eye.  “No eye contact!” she told herself.  “Just keep walking.” Unfortunately, it didn’t work.

“Excuse, I have a question,” said The Tie-Dye Man.

“Yes, how can I help you?” Ann asked in her most professional, I-am-a-librarian-on-librarian-business-only-don’t-you-dare-ask-me-out voice.

“Are you over 21?” he asked.  Feeling nice that day, she actually answered him instead of telling him she won’t discuss personal matters with him (a nice way of saying “buzz off.”)

“Yes, I am,” she said.

“Oh, well, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me after work tonight for some drinks.”

When Ann told me this, I burst into laughter.  “First he asks out the ‘mother’ then he asks out the ‘daughter’!  What is he thinking?!”

Ann kindly told him that her boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate that, and turned the offer down.

This caused me to wonder: Do patrons know how much we laugh at them behind their backs?  Not all the time and not at all of them, but certainly the crazy ones.  And for the size of town that I live in, you wouldn’t think there’d be that many crazy people around, but alas, there are certainly more than enough some days.

Speaking of the crazy people, I shall have to tell you about the lady who talks to stuffed animals and makes us talk to them too.  Another post for another day…

Hava

I’ve told a couple of friends in the last few days that I get paid to blog on here, and they were all surprised.  For whatever reason, I had thought pretty much everyone I know already knew this, but apparently, I would be wrong.

So I figured I ought to write up a post, and invite people out in the cyberworld who are thinking about blogging, to check out the gig here at Today.com.  I have been paid to blog before, but this is the most enjoyable time I’ve ever had of it.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my blogging at Today, and I think it’s because I love my topic so much.  The last time I blogged for pay, the topic was “jobs” and that was nice, but I ran out of ideas to talk about too soon.  With this blog, there’s such a huge variety of things to say, I just don’t foresee me shutting up anytime soon.

When I’ve told people that I blog for pay at Today.com, and they can too, they always say, “But I don’t read many nonfiction books,” or “Do they choose the books you read?” or “What about fiction books instead?  Can I write reviews of those?”  That’s the problem with people only seeing one blog out of thousands (literally) - they think the one they’re looking at is the only possible version.

So let me be the bearer of good news, and say that there are as many topics being blogged about here at Today.com, as there are topics under the sun.  We have blogs about being a mother, spreading celebrity gossip, working at a publishing company, being frugal, living in Las Vegas, dealing with autism, being an Atlanta Braves fan, writing for a living, being single in LA, conservative politics, and much, much more.  There are 1500+ blogs at Today.com, so if there’s a topic you can think of, there’s probably a blog about it.

The even better news is, just because one person is blogging about a topic, doesn’t mean that Today.com won’t hire another person to blog about the same topic, because Today figures (correctly) that each blogger will have a different take on the stories, and will have a slightly different audience.  Let’s take celebrity gossip for example, just because I know there are multiple blogs on that topic.  We have CelebChitChat, Celebrity Today, and Celebrity World. I know there are others too, but I’m too lazy to go find them.

So in short, if there is a topic you are interested in, and you want to blog about it, then you can most likely blog here at Today.com for pay.

Now, here are the caveats (you knew they were coming…)

*They have to be defined topics, so if you like to range from politics to religion to crockpot recipes to the cute thing your kid said that morning, then go set up a free blog at Blogspot.com or Wordpress.com.  You won’t get paid for those blogs, but then again, no one is going to pay you for blogs on such a wide range of topics.  You have to pick one topic, and then stick with it, when it comes to a professional (ie, paid) blog.

*But as you can also see with my blog, Today.com gives you a wide latitude within that topic range.  I blog about nonfiction books, yes, but I also blog about my experiences at the library (since I figure that libraries tie in with books.)  And just a couple of posts ago, I talked about how I am changing from librarian to elementary education in my major at school.

All of that works, because I am staying (generally) on topic.  You’ll notice that I don’t put up posts about the really cool blog I found the other day on crockpot cooking (but if I was going to, I’d totally send you here), or blog about Barack Obama winning the presidency, or any of the other million and one topics I could be talking about.  I stay in my general topic area.  If you don’t love a topic enough to talk about it day in and day out (at least several times a week) then you need to pick a different topic.

*English needs to be your first language, and you need to enjoy writing.  Sorry if that was just a big fat “duh!” going on there, but I figured I should point it out anyway.

*You need to be fairly good at spelling, or at least be willing to look up words occasionally.  No onne is goyng to reed setenses liek thiss.  Just typing that made me want to poke my eyeballs out.

*You need to be fairly consistent in your posting (feel free to yell “Hypocrite!” at any time) because if you don’t post on a semi-regular basis, you’re never going to build up a steady stream of regular readers.  Today will kick you out of the program if you don’t post at least once a month, although I don’t suggest using that as your only guideline to posting.  Most people try for several times a week, and some adventurous souls (read: Not me) post several times a day.

Now to the fun part: Payment.

Today.com pays newbies $1 per post, plus a set amount of money per visitors, although I can’t remember how much off the top of my head.  This pay can be raised or lowered each month, depending on how your blog is doing in terms of visitors and income.  If your blog takes off, you get a lot of visitors, and you are doing a good job writing nice long meaty posts, they will raise your pay per post.

On the other hand, if you only write short, shrimpy posts occasionally, you have on average two people come to your blog a day, and you are bringing in pretty much no income from ads, then please know that your pay is going to get lowered.  If it gets really bad, they may kick you out of the program, although don’t quote me on that.  I’ve never really worried about it because I don’t plan on ever getting there.

Okay, so in a nutshell: $1 per post, only one paid post per day, and your post has to be at least 100 words long, although I cannot remember the last time I managed to write one that only had one hundred words in it.  I can barely say hello in 100 words.

Interested?  Have a topic you just can’t wait to blog your little heart out about?  Well, the news gets even better: It’s easy to apply.  Look to your right —> and up towards the top of the column.  Do you see the square ad that says, “Get Paid to Blog at Today.com” and then changes to say, “Join Now”?  Click on it.  The app process is pretty simple, and you should be on your way within minutes.

Although it says that it may take up to 30 days for a response, the chances are pretty darn good that you’ll get an answer much, much faster than that.  Most people get it within a couple of days.  While waiting for an acceptance email (and it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll get hired, FYI) I would suggest start writing up a list of topics you could cover on your site, so that when you get the acceptance email, you will be set to go.

Any questions?  Feel free to leave a comment below, and I’ll try to get back to you ASAP.  My only word of advice is, if the URL you pick is already taken (and you can pick the URL for your site; it isn’t assigned by Today) then simply pick another one - don’t feel as if you can’t blog on the topic because it’s already taken.  As I said above, Today will hire multiple people on the same topic, so don’t let that deter you.

Good luck, and I hope to have you join the Today.com blogging team soon!

Hava

Note: I got most of the way through this post and realized that I had forgotten to give a definition for intelligent design, for those readers out there who are not into the latest fads of science.

Basically, Intelligent Design (ID) is the belief that there are complex systems in this world (they use the eye as an example) that could never have evolved on its own.  Ergo, there has to be an intelligent designer who has done all of the major changes in the life forms here on Earth - they believe that every time a new species either appeared or disappeared, it was done by the direct hand of a god (and they specifically say that it isn’t necessarily the Christian God - just a god.)  Intelligent design is in direct competition with evolution as a way of explaining the history of life on Earth.

Okay, now we can proceed with my book review…

******

This year in the honors program, we are studying evolution which has been fascinating for me.  Perhaps I slept through evolution in my science classes in high school, or maybe it’s part of the knowledge that I’ve since forgotten that I even learned, but either way, I know pretty much nothing about evolution.

So when I saw Only a Theory: Evolution and the Battle for America’s Soul by Kenneth R Miller while doing check-in, I thought that it’d be a great book to check out and read, so I could get a better grounding on the subject.

The main thrust of the book is this: Evolution is a scientific theory that has been proven over and over again in the labs and in different disciplines of science.  Intelligent design, on the other hand, has absolutely no scientific proof backing it up, despite the fact that its proponents claim that it is a scientific theory.  Miller goes through and explains the intelligent design point of view in-depth, and then he very neatly rips it to shreds.

In the debate today on evolution vs intelligent design, the lines have been set: If you believe there is a God, then you must be against evolution and for intelligent design.  And if you’re for evolution and against intelligent design, well then, you must be a soulless atheist.

Which is what makes this book stand out from the crowd: Kenneth Miller is a devout Christian.  He believes in God.  He also believes that a belief in God and a knowledge that evolution is a true scientific principle are not at odds with each other at all.

The really great part of the book is that this is not made a central point of the book.  Instead, he discusses both evolution and intelligent design from a scientist’s viewpoint, and leaves religion pretty much out of the equation.  About two-thirds of the way through the book, he does discuss his belief in God, and it runs about five pages.  For any atheists or agnostics reading the book, they would not be offended by this section, and could easily skip it without feeling like they’re missing large chunks of the book.

I thoroughly enjoyed the writing style of the book - Miller is a professor of biology at Brown University, and has obviously spent a lot of time breaking down difficult concepts, because I was never lost once while reading this book, which says a lot for his ability to teach.  I hate it when I read a book that is supposedly intended for a general audience, but it written so far above me, the only way to comprehend it is to read it with a dictionary in the other hand.  You don’t have to worry about that with this book.

I have to give two giant thumbs up for this book.  If you’ve heard about the debate, and you’re wanting to see what all the fuss is about, this is the book to read.  If a non-scientific mind like mine can read it and understand it and enjoy it, I think pretty much anyone out there could too.  And this is such an important debate in today’s world, you don’t want to go into it blind.

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Hava

Today at the library was our annual customer service training, done through the state library commission, and we focused this year on personalities.  We took a Meyers-Briggs personality test beforehand, and then worked out our score during the meeting.  Turns out, I’m an extrovert (absolutely no surprise there) and that in the general population, roughly 75% of the people are extroverts, and 25% are introverts.

This interesting factoid was given to us by the library director: That those percentages are switched for librarians.  On average, 75% of librarians are introverts, and 25% are extroverts.  One of my coworkers (an extreme case of an introvert) said, “So that’s why I always felt so at home here!”  As soon as the words came out of her mouth, I had A Light Bulb Moment.

I realized: I have never really fit in at the library.  Sure, I have lots of fun there, and I love my coworkers to pieces, and I absolutely love the job (talking about books with patrons is just about the coolest thing ever) but at the same time, while there, I have to tone back just a bit on my personality.

I tend to laugh loudly (one time, my father had no clue I was in a building, but heard me laughing - through the wall, mind you - and said, “Oh, my daughter must be here.”  I have - saying it nicely here - a memorable laugh.)  Loud laughter and loud talking and excitement are not exactly encouraged at a library. The library I work at is no exception.  I have been shushed multiple times by my boss for being too loud (yes, I get the irony - a librarian being shushed by a librarian.)

But that’s exactly my point: I am not like everyone else.  I don’t like Jane Austen books OR movies (I apologize in advance for the offense that I just caused 97.3% of the librarian staff in the world) and I don’t like “deep” fiction novels that all library book clubs everywhere choose to read each month.  I like nonfiction, of all stripes and colors, so if I’m going to read fiction, it better be entertaining.  If I wanted to think hard and learn something, I’d just stick with nonfiction.

So where does this leave me?  Well, for the last 6 weeks or so, I’ve been volunteering at a local elementary school multiple times a week.  I have been going into a second grade classroom, and helping the teacher work with the students.  This past Wednesday, I had the time of my life: She let me stand up in the front of the class and teach, not once but twice.  As I stood there and led a discussion on the 7 continents of the world, I looked around the classroom and I realized: I do fit in here.

I have loved three things my whole life: Writing, books, and teaching.  Other hobbies and interests have come and gone (astronomy, gardening, politics, and sewing, among others) but those three have been constant pretty much from the beginning.  I get my writing fix on here, I get my books fix at the library and at Barnes and Noble, but my urge, my inner drive to teach, has lain mostly fallow.

The teacher I’m working with at the elementary school told me that she believes very strongly that teaching is a talent, like playing basketball or cooking a delicious meal.  She told me that I have that talent, that I am a natural teacher.  I get it from my father, just like I get my eyes and my teeth from my mother.  It’s just something that I inherited.

So now the choice is: Do I go with the books, or do I go with the teaching?  But in the end, it’s really not that hard after all, even though I’ve spent the last year (and then some) debating this question.  Because as I stand up in front of that classroom of 7 and 8 year olds, and talk about the structure of a sentence, I’ve found my home, my comfort zone.  No suppressing of my personality, no shushing or trying to understand why everyone loves Pride and Prejudice…Just an inner peace.  This is it for me - this is where I belong.

A week ago, I met with a counselor and I’m changing my major to elementary education.  It’ll take me 2.5 years just to finish with my AA (that’s what happens when you can only take 12 credits a semester) and then I still have to get my bachelors plus take the test to get my teaching certificate.  So suffice it to say, it’ll be a while before I’m a teacher.

But one thing I am glad for is that I didn’t get all the way through school just to find out that the library isn’t the place for me after all.  It’s a good fit for me, but not a great one.  It would have worked, and I would have done fine, but I want more than “fine” for my life.

I will be staying at the library the duration of my schooling, though - just because I’m not majoring in library science anymore doesn’t mean they’re going to fire me.  The pay is great, and my boss is flexible about working around my school schedule, and it really is the best job I’ve ever had.  I’ll miss it when I finally leave - the patrons, the shelves of books, the face of a child as they get handed a book they cannot wait to read…

Anyone out there had a similar experience, where they found a job they liked, only to change their mind to work at a job they loved?  Anyone else struggle to find their perfect fit in life, what they were born to be?  Drop me a comment below.  I’d hate to think that I’m the only one out there who has floundered around in this giant sea of choices…

Hava

“I could never read Harry Potter,” said a patron (whom I’ll call Emily).  “There is magic and wizardry in there.  I would never read something like that.”

Having thus announced her morals and values to me (as if I cared) she calmly piles stacks, and stacks, and stacks of bodice-ripping romance books on the counter.  Emily is a younger girl (not even out of high school) who comes in and checks out 40+ books per visit.  She comes every couple of weeks.  And without fail, all of the books are romance books, most of them where the women only have clothing on half their bodies, and the men are standing there, muscles rippling, shirts off, looking for all the world like an advertisement for steroids.

As I look at these books, and then look at the patron checking them out, I just have to shake my head in wonder.  How is it possible that in her world, Harry Potter is so very horrible, and these books are just so very wonderful?  I’m not bashing romance books - I went through a stage where that’s all I read too.  I still have some favorite authors in the genre (Julia Quinn, Judith McNaught, and Julie Garwood, among others) although I don’t read many of them now.

But even at the height of my love with the genre, I never A) Read as many books as her at a time (I’m a fast reader, but 2 books a day for months on end seems a bit extreme) or B) Spouted off utter nonsense about how you shouldn’t read “witchcraft” in Harry Potter but that reading “steamy sex scenes” was not a problem.

Am I completely off base here?  Are there any readers who would like to enlighten me about what I’m missing - what is so very wrong with Harry Potter, and so very right with bodice rippers?  Because as I see it, that sort of logic just doesn’t compute.

Thoughts?

Hava

Shut Up, I’m Talking (And Other Diplomacy Lessons I Learned in the Israeli Government) by Gregory Levey was a downright hilarious book.  I spent at least half of the book laughing uproariously.  I think it rather annoyed my husband, actually.

But here’s the general gist of the book: This is the autobiography of Gregory Levey , who grew up as a secular Jew in Canada.  He went to a Jewish school for elementary and junior high, and then went to regular public school for high school.  So he was raised somewhat in the Jewish background, although he is atheist and doesn’t believe in the Jewish religion, or in God in general.

Well, he decides as a second-year law student that law school was just way, way too boring, and he wants to go join the Israeli Army (yes, this is rather random, but as you’ll see as you read his book, most of his life seems to be have been rather random.  In fact, I’d say that sums up his life in a nutshell: Random).  While waiting for his army stint to begin, he decides that he wants to be an intern at the UN for the Israeli government, and so he spends several months trying to do just that.  He ends up getting a job as a speech writer instead.

His story proceeds from there, and I don’t want to give everything away so I won’t, but can I just tell you again how darn FUNNY this book is?  Usually when I read a book, I try to mark the pages that I think are particularly humorous/heartwarming /touching, or otherwise noteworthy, so I can use the quotes in my review.  For Shut Up, I’m Talking, I realized that I would basically have to quote the entire first chapter.  But I’m just not that dedicated to this job, sorry.

But I will quote from the introduction (the Author’s Note).  Here it is:

As I write this note, things don’t look good in the Middle East.  I’m not sure when you’re reading this, but I assume that things still don’t look good in the Middle East, because they never really do.  If things looked good in the Middle East, it wouldn’t look like the Middle East.  It might look like, say, Canada, with camels.

Having been to the Middle East, and having ridden on a camel, that struck me as particularly funny.  Or perhaps my sense of humor has been seriously screwed up by a lack of sleep lately, who knows.

Although this is a great book about the inside workings of the UN and of the Israeli government, it by no means is a definitive book about what is happening in the Middle East.  In fact, that is rather the point of the book: The author realizing that there really is no plan when it comes to politics and policy.  Everyone in the Israeli government is basically playing it by ear, 24/7.  It’s a disheartening, eye-opening, and laughter-inducing book.

I couldn’t put it down.  4.75 out of 5 stars.  Great book - I’m hoping this won’t be the last we hear of Gregory Levey.

Hava

The other day, my coworker (who I’ll call Chris) had a patron come up and ask to use the internet.  Since at least half our traffic through the front door are people looking to do just that, this wasn’t exactly a shock.  But what Chris saw when he scanned the patron’s card was:

$647 in fines.

Now, I have seen patrons who have had a measly $0.20 in fines on their account get Very Angry because they “just don’t understand how that happened!” :roll eyes:  Maybe your book was turned in a day late?  Just sayin’…

So if you can imagine people getting angry over twenty cents, you can just imagine someone’s face when they’re told they have a whopping $647 in fines.

He didn’t take it well.

“But!!!!!” he said, “I remember turning those in!  I was moving, and I remember packing all the books in a box and bringing them to the library to be returned!”

Can I just tell you how ridiculous that story is?  We counted - he had neglected to return a nice round number of 25 books.  What are the chances that we mistakenly lost 25 books, and then (this is the kicker!) they were never found, in the three years since this patron claimed he returned them?  How would that even be possible?  Unless there is a large sinkhole in the back corner of the library, I’m fairly sure we would have found those books by now.

The thing is, I’m sure that the patron thought he returned those books.  I get patrons in all the time who would swear on their mother’s grave that they returned a book that we show as still being out.  (It doesn’t usually happen with 25 books at a time, but it does happen on a smaller scale every day).

My theory?  The guy did pack up his library books, and then mistakenly dropped off a box of his personal books, thinking they were the library books.  Things get hairy when you’re moving - it’d be easy to do. We open the box, see a bunch of books, and take them in as donations.  And three years later, his library books are in some storage unit in a back corner, gathering dust.  Hopefully some day, he finds them, because one thing I can be certain of: They aren’t at the library.

And cursing a blue streak at us won’t change that a bit.

Havs

PS This was the largest library fine I have ever seen on someone’s account.  Any of you guys ever had a high fine?  Care to share?  The comment section is open - I want to hear your stories!