Nov 07 2008
The Outgoing Librarian
Today at the library was our annual customer service training, done through the state library commission, and we focused this year on personalities. We took a Meyers-Briggs personality test beforehand, and then worked out our score during the meeting. Turns out, I’m an extrovert (absolutely no surprise there) and that in the general population, roughly 75% of the people are extroverts, and 25% are introverts.
This interesting factoid was given to us by the library director: That those percentages are switched for librarians. On average, 75% of librarians are introverts, and 25% are extroverts. One of my coworkers (an extreme case of an introvert) said, “So that’s why I always felt so at home here!” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, I had A Light Bulb Moment.
I realized: I have never really fit in at the library. Sure, I have lots of fun there, and I love my coworkers to pieces, and I absolutely love the job (talking about books with patrons is just about the coolest thing ever) but at the same time, while there, I have to tone back just a bit on my personality.
I tend to laugh loudly (one time, my father had no clue I was in a building, but heard me laughing - through the wall, mind you - and said, “Oh, my daughter must be here.” I have - saying it nicely here - a memorable laugh.) Loud laughter and loud talking and excitement are not exactly encouraged at a library. The library I work at is no exception. I have been shushed multiple times by my boss for being too loud (yes, I get the irony - a librarian being shushed by a librarian.)
But that’s exactly my point: I am not like everyone else. I don’t like Jane Austen books OR movies (I apologize in advance for the offense that I just caused 97.3% of the librarian staff in the world) and I don’t like “deep” fiction novels that all library book clubs everywhere choose to read each month. I like nonfiction, of all stripes and colors, so if I’m going to read fiction, it better be entertaining. If I wanted to think hard and learn something, I’d just stick with nonfiction.
So where does this leave me? Well, for the last 6 weeks or so, I’ve been volunteering at a local elementary school multiple times a week. I have been going into a second grade classroom, and helping the teacher work with the students. This past Wednesday, I had the time of my life: She let me stand up in the front of the class and teach, not once but twice. As I stood there and led a discussion on the 7 continents of the world, I looked around the classroom and I realized: I do fit in here.
I have loved three things my whole life: Writing, books, and teaching. Other hobbies and interests have come and gone (astronomy, gardening, politics, and sewing, among others) but those three have been constant pretty much from the beginning. I get my writing fix on here, I get my books fix at the library and at Barnes and Noble, but my urge, my inner drive to teach, has lain mostly fallow.
The teacher I’m working with at the elementary school told me that she believes very strongly that teaching is a talent, like playing basketball or cooking a delicious meal. She told me that I have that talent, that I am a natural teacher. I get it from my father, just like I get my eyes and my teeth from my mother. It’s just something that I inherited.
So now the choice is: Do I go with the books, or do I go with the teaching? But in the end, it’s really not that hard after all, even though I’ve spent the last year (and then some) debating this question. Because as I stand up in front of that classroom of 7 and 8 year olds, and talk about the structure of a sentence, I’ve found my home, my comfort zone. No suppressing of my personality, no shushing or trying to understand why everyone loves Pride and Prejudice…Just an inner peace. This is it for me - this is where I belong.
A week ago, I met with a counselor and I’m changing my major to elementary education. It’ll take me 2.5 years just to finish with my AA (that’s what happens when you can only take 12 credits a semester) and then I still have to get my bachelors plus take the test to get my teaching certificate. So suffice it to say, it’ll be a while before I’m a teacher.
But one thing I am glad for is that I didn’t get all the way through school just to find out that the library isn’t the place for me after all. It’s a good fit for me, but not a great one. It would have worked, and I would have done fine, but I want more than “fine” for my life.
I will be staying at the library the duration of my schooling, though - just because I’m not majoring in library science anymore doesn’t mean they’re going to fire me. The pay is great, and my boss is flexible about working around my school schedule, and it really is the best job I’ve ever had. I’ll miss it when I finally leave - the patrons, the shelves of books, the face of a child as they get handed a book they cannot wait to read…
Anyone out there had a similar experience, where they found a job they liked, only to change their mind to work at a job they loved? Anyone else struggle to find their perfect fit in life, what they were born to be? Drop me a comment below. I’d hate to think that I’m the only one out there who has floundered around in this giant sea of choices…
Hava
My experience is just the opposite of yours. I tried teaching and did not feel comfortable there. I discovered librarianship and I am now at home. I’m glad you were able to discover your passion before you got too far into the library science program. You will make an excellent teacher! PS I am offended that you don’t like Jane Austen!
I have loved the feedback on this post. I have heard quite often that there is a switch back and forth between librarian and teacher - that the same kind of people tend to be attracted to both fields (although I’d guess that the more extroverted people tend to end up in the teaching profession, and the more introverted people in the librarian profession, on average.)
If you think about it, it only makes sense: Librarians and teachers both usually love learning, love books, and have a drive for knowledge. In the end, it’s just how you apply that knowledge and love.
And Amy, I was thinking about you as I wrote this post. I know that I’m going just the opposite direction that you did, and I thought, “I hope I’m not making a mistake here!” And if I did go through the library program, get a Masters in Library Science, and work at a library for the rest of my life, I’m sure I would enjoy it. But it wouldn’t be quite where I could be. Does that make sense?
Good, better, best.
Good = Working as a clerk at Barnes and Noble
Better = Working as a reference librarian at the public library
Best = Working as a teacher at an elementary school
I would like all of those jobs, but I’d like one the most. I guess it’s time I actually follow my instincts and stopped being afraid. That’s really what it comes down to - I’m afraid I won’t be a good teacher. I need to stop letting that fear keep me from trying…
Hava
PS Amy, Just that alone (not liking Jane Austen) should have clued me in that I’m in the wrong profession!
That should have been on the Meyers-Brigg test for librarians - do you like Jane Austen or not? If you don’t, why are you working here? LOL!
Thanks Diane!!! You were one of the first ones to push me towards teaching lately, and you helped me realize that I needed to at least volunteer at an elementary school and see if I liked it or not.
I’ve loved it, even the bad days (like yesterday when the teacher was sick, and I spent the day helping the sub out with the class - the kids were rotten, and the sub had absolutely NO backbone in telling them no…It was insane. Oh, and to top it all off, there was a new kid in the class that morning, who I had no clue how to help, because of course he had no books, he had no desk, he had no supplies - NIGHTMARE!)
But even in the midst of that chaos, I still enjoyed myself and loved what I was doing. I look around the classroom and see myself exactly where I need to be. I just love it.
I told the sub that yesterday, and she looked at me as if I was insane. She looked as if she had lived through World War III by the end of the day, and had just barely survived. She was a brand-new sub and WAAAY over her head.
Anyway, thanks again for the push in the right direction, Diane - I truly do appreciate it.
Hava
Havy–
You have a wonderful way of bringing humor to an impossible situation (I believe you are familiar with it–trying to keep my boss happy, while trying to keep my staff happy–HA!). I get discouraged about the “hush-hush” of libraries, and librarians, also.
Most people, I believe, know that library atmospheres are changing rapidly, however, with the influx of new generations of librarians and patrons. Outgoing librarians are just one of the much-needed changes!
Thank you for bringing a joyous atmosphere to our little local library. Wherever you go, and whatever you do, keep your own little, unique light shinin’! You are the only “you” in the world, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Missy”