Jan 06 2009
The Pompous Old Bag patron
Before I get started into my rant and rave of the day, I just wanted to mention that I got tagged by the Rocket Scientist to write a list of 6 things that others might find interesting and/or don’t already know about a library. It will take me a while to come up some thing better than, “Well, uh, a library has, uh, books!” so make sure to watch for that later on in the week.
Okay, back to my rant. At our library, we have patron whom we’ve nicknamed the Pompous Old Bag (POB for short). I know it sounds rude and mean, but stick with me here. I think you’ll agree with my assessment.
First off, I think most libraries are afflicted with these creatures, since they seem to congregate around institutions that depend on donations, because they can’t tell the POB’s which cliff to jump off when they become too much to handle.
Our POB comes in the shape of an older woman (I would guess early 70’s, maybe even older than that) who has got money, and isn’t afraid to rub that in people’s faces. She is constantly badgering the poor reference desk with requests for obscure books that only God could locate, and likes to (in the midst of the badgering) to “casually” bring up the fact that she donates $1,000 a year to the library.
Now do you see why we cannot simply escort her to the nearest cliff? Pompous Old Bags always donate large amounts of money to the beholden institutions. That’s what makes the institutions beholden.
And don’t even get me started on the time she went crazy over the DVD’s. She harangued the poor new girl for a good half hour about how our library’s DVD’s are in horrible shape, and why can’t she fix them, and it doesn’t do any good to apologize - she wants results! Doesn’t anyone know she’s donated $1,000 to the library? She deserves DVD’s in better shape! And so on. And so forth. Extrapolate that into 30 minutes worth, and you’ll have an idea of how beloved this patron truly is.
(Question of the hour: If you have so much money, why do you even rent movies for free from the library? Why not buy the movies and thus be assured of them being scratch-free? Inquiring minds want to know.)
Well, recently we did a remodel of our library and put in a new reading room. It’s quite cool - the magazines line the wall, the newspapers are in their tidy holders, there are overstuffed chairs galore, a cheery fireplace (gas) that gives off heat, and beautiful tall windows that overlook the city park. All in all a great addition to our library.
Well, the POB would hear none of it. She stood in line for 20 minutes one day, outlining the horrors that were going to befall our library, now that we had this reading room.
“My daughter’s library recently added a reading room, and she said that all of the homeless now go in there and sleep! She said she can’t even go into the library, for fear of her safety! If you had asked me, you never would have put this in. But even though I donate $1,000 to the library every year, no one even bothered asking me,” she huffed.
Customer service skills firmly in place, I simply nodded and listened until she ran out of steam, and left of her own volition. You can’t argue with a POB, so you just have to let them have their (horribly long) say and they’ll eventually wind down.
Well, that was months ago, and I had forgotten the whole incident (short-term memory loss really isn’t a bad thing if you work with the general public) until the other night, when I heard the most delicious story from the reference department.
Who but our dear POB was in the new reading room, settled in with her book. When I heard that, I couldn’t help but laugh. Hard. If I were a better person…
But I’m not. And so I just have to chuckle every time I think about it. And for those of you who are interested if our homeless population has gotten out of control, the answer is no. That really hasn’t changed - we’ve always had homeless in our library, but they don’t usually cause problems, and this reading room hasn’t attracted any more than the normal. All of the POB’s dire predictions failed to come to pass.
So I guess the library won this one. Library: 1, POB: 0. Not bad, eh?
And in other news, I have finally found a retirement program I can afford. Now all I need to do is convince the hubby to buy a winning lottery ticket and then be so kind as to kick the bucket directly afterwards. Or, I suppose $10 million dollars is enough to split between two people. Do you think a cool $5 million would be enough money that I can turn into a Pompous Old Bag myself?
Dreams - they’re what keep a person young.
Hava
I could never make it in anything approaching a service industry. I mean, I did it when I was going through school and stuff, but day in and day out, I’d so lose my temper.
My heart bleeds for you.
That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh..I needed it! Now whenever the POB comes in to check out her humongous interlibrary loan coffee table book that she can’t possibly carry out to her car, I will be thinking of this! You do know that I will have to try with all my might not to laugh in her face now as I think of POB and have the picture you posted here in my head..thanks a billion!
Oh yes, the “I donate $1000 dollars every year” lady sometimes you just want to say, well good for you! enjoy your plaque and leaf on the tree, because thats the only reward you get! It’s not really a donation if she keeps expecting special treatment cause of it, if we did, then it becomes a bribe!
For some reason, I don’t think you could ever become a POB.
Ruthie >> I’m glad you enjoyed my post.
And what would the point be of suffering through all of these situations, if I couldn’t come home and laugh about it with you guys?! Sometimes, when a patron really gets into a snit about something, I am smiling and nodding on the outside, but on the inside, I am mentally composing my blog on here. It keeps me sane, and keeps me from snapping back at them. 
LOL!
Stephanie >> I have to say that the customer service industry is definitely not for everyone. And there are days when I was just want to scream. But the majority of the patrons are great (or at least not a POB) so in the end, that’s what makes my job worthwhile: The great ones in the bunch. If all of our patrons were POB’s, I’d have quit a long time ago.
Tiffy >> I contemplated putting the interlibrary book story in here, but my post was getting too long as it was, so I didn’t. For those of you reading this post who don’t actually work at the library, the long story short is that we ordered a book in for POB from another library (as usual - I swear 90% of the books she checks out are from another library).
Well, this time we ordered a book in, and it turns out that is was “simply too heavy to carry” out to her car, and she refused to take it. Now bear in mind that we order these books in as a service to the patron, and we don’t charge them for this service. Considering the book was huge, and the postage to and from our library would have been quite high, we were understandably upset with her that she refused to take the darn thing home. She is one crotchety old woman.
Oh, and wasn’t that picture terrific?! I dare you to help POB and not burst into laughter.
Callista >> There are some great patrons out there too. In fact, just for balance’s sake, I ought to post one or two blogs about it. It’s just that the great patrons don’t make for hilarious posts!
CJ >> That’s a good point about the $1000 being a bribe. I think in her mind, she’s paid us and now we are her slaves. Uggh and double-uggh.
cmaher >> That is sweet of you to say that! I like to think that I am a reasonable person and would be kind to people no matter how old I got, but then again, I guess we won’t know until I’m 80, eh?
Hava
That’s hilarious! You are a great writer.
Roxie
http://recoveryrocks.today.com/
Ah shucks, thanks.
I love to write, that’s for sure. This blog is great fun for me.
Hava
Oh wow, this brings back memories. Our library had a 90 year old guy that was working on his 12th degree and was always asking for, like you say, books only God could find. Our favorite story about him was this: He used to haunt a local private religious college and harass their librarians as well. One day he came in and asked our reference librarian for more obscure stuff, saying that the private college hadn’t been able to find him anything. With an inward sigh, our librarian decided to call the college to find out what searches they had done so she wouldn’t be reinventing the wheel. The poor woman at this religious school library was very distressed by the call, and finally burst out “We lied! We didn’t look at all!” LOL. Our own librarian was entirely sympathetic (amidst laughter) because seriously, the librarians deserved hazard pay for dealing with this guy day in and day out. But I’m sure that poor college librarian was forever horrified that she’d been caught dodging a patron!
Thanks for sharing your story and that priceless pic…hee!
Wow. I’d had some frustrating patrons during my time working circ at Lakeview, but she beats all of them up, down and sideways. I admire your patience.
It’s all well and good that our patrons are charitable and whatnot. But it’s not charity when they come in and tell us about it. I bet her one thousand dollars only covers her interlibrary loan shipping. Maybe it makes her sleep better at night. Meanwhile, we have to hang on to her freaking huge books. Some people.
P.S. 90% of homeless people aren’t even dangerous. In fact, some of the nicest people I know are homeless. In FACT, some of our best patrons are homeless! Take that POB!! (Your blogs are bringing out all my pent up frustration…)