Jan 22 2009
Almighty Reference Ladies
I ran across another Today.com blog entitled The Librarian. Delighted, I clicked on it. How fun that there was another Today blogger who was a librarian!
She related the following story on her site - I’m pasting the most hilarious part below, but follow the link if you want to read the whole thing:
Two years later, she’s still coming in and still asking questions about her future, like we’re some kind of Magic 8 Ball come to life. I mean, I know the sign above the desk says INFORMATION, but that’s not really what it means. Her questions now are more specific, like “Do you think I’ll win $70 million from the lawsuit against my job?” She says she’s suing her boss because he’s mean to her. Or “Do you think I’ll marry a tall Italian man who drives a BMW?”
And while she used to just frown when you said you didn’t know or shrugged, now she gets ANGRY and huffs at you. Oh, yeah and she really hates me because I won’t answer her questions. She asked me not long ago if I liked working at the Library and I told her I did. She wrote me a sweet little note that said I DON’T LIKE YOU WORKING HERE.
Lovely.
I almost snorted my water up my nose when I read this (a hazard of browsing the internet and drinking at the same time). A patron who honestly seemed to think that the reference desk should not only be able to tell her where the atlases are at, but also peer into the future, and tell her what her fate is going to be? Oh c’mon peoples, you just can’t make this kind of thing up!
I started to think about how, exactly, this was supposed to work. This is what I came up with: What if, after the librarian finishes school, master’s degree proudly in hand, she’s suddenly imbued with a magical ability to read palms and foretell the future? Switch the tassel from one side of the cap to the other, and BAM! Here comes all of the psychic abilities.
I tell you what, I’m feeling significantly ripped off by the reference desk at my library, because never once has any of them told me what numbers to use when buying a ticket for Powerball, nor accurately foretold even so much as the weather. Hey, they are the “Information” desk - shouldn’t they be able to tell me anything and everything I want to know?
For any of you who are down on your luck, and need a bit of extra cash to make it through, be sure to stop by your local library before hitting your gas station, so you can have your lucky numbers in hand. Give yourself plenty of time though - when word of this spreads, the lines are going to be insane. Forget the lines at Disneyland - this is so much better than a three minute ride through “It’s a Small World.” We’re talking months of camping out here. Black Friday times, like, a million.
Just remember, Almighty Reference Ladies, I was the first to know about this magical power, so you have to help me first. 
Hava
Who is off to go plan how she’ll spend her millions of dollars…
You know I literally do read tarot cards, though not for money. I taught myself as research for some short stories.
Guess it’s a good thing I’m not a librarian or they’d never leave me alone.
I guess I’d better quit putting off going for my Master’s in library science. Divinatory powers, HERE I COME!
Stephanie >> Boy, that’d bring in quite the crowd at the library - you could sit at the reference desk and give out readings to anyone who wants one. And if you ever got tired of thinking, you could just start scribbling down “Yes” “No” “Of Course” and other various answers, throwing them into a hat, and telling the patrons that whatever you draw out is what the gods want you to tell them. I think you could get quite popular.
Ravyn >> LOL!!! Now you’re talking! Except, remember, you don’t get those powers until you move the tassell from the one side of your cap to the other. So sadly, you do indeed need to get your MLS. But after that, think of all of the riches and power that will come with working at your local library! (Riches and power, librarian…Those are not words that normally go into the same sentence. Hmm…)
Havs
I know… but at least I can imagine it while I wait, right?
Hava, once you start suppling us with cookies, THEN we’ll start supplying you with answers.
BTW, buy a Powerball ticket with the following numbers: 18 53 10 19 26 and Red Powerball 5.
If you win anything, I want half.
Catana >> Oh, they sure wish they were!! LOL!!
Ravyn >> Yup - imagine away.
Ann >> Oh! If only I’d known that cookies was the way to riches and fame, I would have brought them a long time ago.
Just for kicks and grins, I ought to buy a Powerball ticket with those numbers. It’d be awfully hilarious if I won something.
Havs