Nonfiction Book Reviews

I remembered vaguely hearing about Not Without My Daughter by Betty Mahmoody when I spotted the book doing check-in at the library. Some lady got stuck in Iran and couldn’t leave was about all I could recall. So I checked the book out and brought it home - it sounded like an interesting plotline, and hopefully worth the read. I didn’t realize at the time that there had been a movie made from the book, nor have I watched the movie since, so if any of my readers out there have watched it, please pipe up - I want to hear what you thought about it.

As for the book, it was captivating. I was immediately drawn into the story and could hardly put it down. She reveals the backstory piece by piece throughout the book instead of hitting you all at once with it, so I kept wanting to read further, because there were certain things that she did that made no sense to me. She would hint at the reason, but then draw back and not actually state it. Then she’d do it again 50 pages later.  Arrgh!  Although it drove me crazy, it definitely kept my attention.

But as the backstory began to fall into place, her actions started to started to make sense (finally!) and I was by that point completely hooked. I had to know what happened next!

For those of you who haven’t read the book/watched the movie, it’s basically about how Betty marries Moody (that’s his nickname) who is from Iran.  She’d met him here in America when he was treating her as a patient - he was a doctor and apparently very Americanized, or so she thought.  Backstory, backstory, backstory (hey, if Betty made me wait, I’m going to make you wait, LOL!!!), they get married, backstory, backstory, and finally they end up in Iran on a trip, visiting his family. He completely changes his personality, and he ends up trapping her in Iran.

This trip happens in 1984, and in 1984 in Iran, a woman could be killed for using birth control without her husband’s permission.  She could also be killed for a host of other things (as Betty found out). Back then, women had zero rights - they were to be used and treated as the man saw fit. It was written into their constitution that way (as Betty also found out).  So if her husband didn’t want her to leave, there was no official way for her to get out.  She was stuck.

Betty tried to find a way to escape illegally, but every person who offered her help told her, “I can get you out, but you’ll have to leave your child.” Which is where the title of the book came from, because Betty told them all the same thing: “Not without my daughter.” She would not leave her little girl behind.

I don’t want to say anymore for fear of ruining the book, so I’ll leave the plotline there. I did want to say that there was one thing about the book that bothered me, and that was that Betty comes across as quite a snot at times, especially at the beginning. To me, his family not liking her didn’t exactly come as a surprise. She spends a lot of time bashing living conditions and food preparation, and I can just see her in my mind, looking down her nose at these “backward natives,” as she saw them.

I know it would have been hard to live through, but when you’re in Rome, sometimes you’ve got to do as the Romans do, not just sit in judgment of them and hold yourself as superior. That’s just manners.  So she kinda drove me nuts at points in the book.

Other than that quibble, I quite enjoyed the book, and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting a little more background into the Iranian government and people. Things have changed a lot in Iran in 24 years (not enough, but still, some progress) - but it’s worth the read, despite its age.

I give it 4.25 out of 5 stars.

Hava