Nonfiction Book Reviews

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For my honors class in college, a speaker came in and talked to the class about something you don’t normally hear about much: Slavery right here and now, in the year 2009.

Unfortunately, I missed class that day, so I didn’t get to hear him speak. As make-up work for missing the class, I was assigned a video to watch on this global pandemic. I have posted the video below for all of you to watch.

WARNING: This video will make you sick to your stomach, not so much because of the graphic pictures in the video (although there is a little of that) but because of the realization that all of this has been happening, and you have done nothing to stop it.  At just over 5 minutes, it is well worth your time to watch.

After watching that video, I wanted to know what I could do. I also wanted to find more information on the subject, since this was literally the first time I had heard about this. Slavery? Here in America? C’mon, what are you talking about? Slavery was abolished! President Lincoln? Emancipation Proclamation? Doesn’t any of that ring a bell?

Yeah, that was me. I was shocked and disturbed to the tips of my toes that this was still happening today. I went to Amazon to see if I could find a book with more information on modern-day human slavery, and I found Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade - and How We Can Fight It by David Batstone.  I just finished reading it today.  Batstone is the head of a website, Not For Sale Campaign, and now does tours around the United States speaking about human trafficking.

The book Not for Sale was an eye-opening look at all the forms of human slavery, from women being forced to serve as sex slaves in a brothel, to whole families being locked inside of a rice factory for years, to children being forced to fight as soldiers in rebel armies in Africa.  There doesn’t seem to be a corner of the world that is not affected in some shape or form by this.

The book did have some ADD tendencies to it, however.  The author would start out a chapter talking about sex slavery in Asian countries, and throughout the chapter would jump from the story of someone who was forced into slavery, to a person who is fighting it as an abolitionist however they can (by providing aid to those who escape, by helping people escape, by providing legal representation to those who escaped, etc), and then on to the general landscape of the problem - why it is thriving, what has made it hard to fight, etc.

Each new section within the chapter meant a jump to a new point of view on the problem, and he regularly jumped back and forth between the different point of views until wrapping up the chapter (usually) with the escape and freedom of the slave.

When I first started reading, I thought, “Who is this?  What is he talking about?  What happened to the person whose story he just left?”  After I read through several chapters and got more used to this writing style, it didn’t bother me as much, but I still cannot say it’s my favorite writing style, and I wish he had done it differently.

Despite this minor flaw, the book was still excellent.  If you want a broad overview of the worldwide problem of human trafficking, then this is the book for you.  If you are outraged by the video above and you want more information and you especially want to know what you can do to make a difference, then you need to read this book.  This is an excellent introduction into the world of slavery, and will help you better understand the global dynamics of it.

At the end of the book, he has a listing of the various agencies fighting this problem along with their websites so you can find a group nearby that you can join to help fight this.  Don’t think this problem exists in your backyard?  Check out Slavery Map, where you can search the globe and see where the various incidents have happened.  I had two in my state alone.

There are books that make you laugh, there are books that teach you stuff.  There are books that broaden your horizons.  But Not For Sale will change your life.  Buy it today.  After you’re done reading, pass it on to a friend or neighbor, and encourage them to continue passing it on when they’re done.  The more we know about this problem, the better we can fight it.  Knowledge is everything.

If you don’t see it, then you aren’t looking for it.
~ modern slavery in a nutshell

Havs

PS My hometown is going to get a visit from David Batstone and his entourage very soon.  If any of you who are reading this are from my hometown and want more information, call me or send me an email and I’ll gladly give you the info.  I’d love to post it here but for privacy reasons will not.

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Note: The following is part of my intermittent Fun Friday series where I write reviews of children’s books.

I love children’s books because they take incredibly complicated subjects and distill them down into bite size pieces that you can understand and learn from without having to have a Masters degree in the subject.

Ox, House, Stick: The History of our Alphabet by Don Robb is just such a children’s book. It is about how our alphabet came into being, something I was discussing with someone just the other day. Why, I wondered, is our alphabet in the order it is in?  Why doesn’t our alphabet read as A, C, Y, W, F, Z…

You get the picture.

According to Ox, House, Stick page 19:

No one knows why the letters of the alphabet appear in the order they do.  They’ve kept pretty much the same order since Phoenician times.

Well, at least I’m not the only one who doesn’t know the answer to that question.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book because it took a fairly complicated subject (the history of written language) and broke it down into understandable and interesting chunks.  I enjoyed looking at all of the colorful and well-drawn illustrations scattered throughout the book too.

The picture below is actually the back cover for the book, and shows the first two letters of the alphabet (A and B) in a variety of languages: Hebrew, Phoenician, Greek, Roman, Hebrew, Arabic, and Russian.  It’s interesting to see the similarities and differences between the alphabets.

Does it make me a real geek that I think lists like that are interesting?

Don’t answer that.

This would be a great book for a teacher in a classroom (geared for ages 8 - 12), a homeschooling mom, or just someone like me who loves to learn about a variety of subjects without having to invest months or years of my time to learning every nook and cranny.

I give Ox, House, Stick: The History of Our Alphabet 4.75 out of 5 stars.

Havs

I first heard about Adrift: 76 Days Lost at Sea by Steven Callahan when I read Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why by Laurence Gonzales.  Gonzales referred to Callahan’s experience quite extensively in Deep Survival, and I thought it sounded like a fascinating story.

Turns out, it was.

Callahan was an avid lover of the sea.  He would spend weeks out in the ocean on his boat, go into port to get some supplies, and then after just a day or two, head back out into the ocean.  He lived on the sea like you and I live in our homes.  He was extremely knowledgeable about the plant and animal life that lived and thrived out in the vast space he called the wet desert (an apt description: There you are, surrounded by miles and miles of water, but there is nothing to drink).

He entered into a race but there was bad weather from the start.  Undeterred, he went ahead with it, a decision that almost cost him his life.  The race was an extensive one and included crossing several oceans, and he had the smallest ship in the race.  He was also all alone.

Six days into the race, the weather became stormy again and the seas were rough.  Callahan did all that he could, and then he went to bed.  He was awakened with a jolt - he later figured out that the most likely cause of the accident was a whale hitting up against the side of the boat.  Either way it happened, the end result was that his boat was sinking, and he needed to get off of it as soon as possible.

There are quite a few things that contributed to Callahan’s survival against odds that have killed every other person ever faced with them:

*He was extremely knowledgeable about the ocean and how to survive in its environment.
*He had bought a six-man raft instead of the standard four-man raft after trying to climb into a four-man raft with two other friends. Apparently, life boats are like tents: You never actually want to go by the count on the outside of the box. *He had not stocked the “normal” emergency kit and left it at that. Instead, he had bought the standard kit and then added a whole lot more, throwing the whole bundle into a sea bag that he was able to grab and go with when the ship started to sink. Because of this extra preparation, he had things like a spear to kill fish with and other items he would have died without.
*He kept his cool and did not panic when the boat started to sink, allowing him to retrieve extra supplies that were very useful.
*He kept his desires to drink fresh water contained - he knew he had a very limited supply of water and was only able to procure more fresh water at a slow rate, so he rationed the water even when every fiber of his being screamed out for more.
*He was creative and smart with his hands, finding fixes for problems that would have been the death of almost anyone else.

As I read the book, I kept thinking, “Okay, what would I have done in that situation? How would I have handled it?” I compared myself to Callahan throughout, and let me just tell you right now: It’s unlikely I would have lived through the night of the boat sinking. If I had been lucky enough to scrap by through that, I wouldn’t have lasted the week.  Depressing but true.

I don’t have the knowledge of the sea and the fish that he did (I know I would have ate a poisonous fish, not realizing what I was doing), I don’t have the ability to fix things easily with my hands (I am a thinker, not a doer, at least in that sense), and most of all, I don’t keep my calm in tense situations. I would have panicked straight out of the box and died.  Lovely, eh?

Other than the interest that the book provided by helping me understand myself better, I also enjoyed it because Callahan is an excellent writer. Just imagine, for a moment, that an entire book is centered inside of a very small area (perhaps the size of your couch) and that there is only one person in that whole book. No one else to talk to, no relationships to develop - nothing but this guy and the ocean.

In most author’s hands, that would have been a recipe for disaster. Talk about boring. But Callahan did a great job of keeping the story line interesting throughout, and making you feel as if you were really living everything that he was. I found myself a lot more thirsty than normal while reading Adrift, which, when I realized what was happening, made me laugh. But after reading so much about fresh water and high temperatures, you can’t help but hit the faucet often while reading.

I also enjoyed his writing style. He has an almost poetical style of writing, and was very enjoyable to read.  He did not focus on just mere survival for the duration; he also spent quite a bit of time contemplating his life, the grand scheme of things, and of course, the great circle of life.  Not boring or dry, but definitely thought-provoking.

My only (small) critique was that there were parts of the book that were confusing to me, since I have only been on a boat a couple of times, and I certainly have no nautical knowledge. It wasn’t enough to make me not want to read the book, but I do have to say that there were some paragraphs that I skipped over, because I just didn’t have any idea of what he was talking about. Luckily that didn’t happen too often, and quickly petered out after his boat sank and he was just on the raft.

I can’t say that’s really his fault - after all, I’m the one who is knows nothing about boats.  But I thought I ought to warn you in case you get very easily frustrated with that kind of thing.

Overall, I give this book a 4.75 out of 5 stars. If you are at all interested in survival stories, or you just want a good autobiography to read, be sure to check out Adrift: Seventy Six Days Lost at Sea. It was on the New York Times bestseller list for 36 weeks - I am positive you’ll love it.

Havs

Before I get this party started, I just wanted to say that I was sent this book for free from the publisher, and my review of it is part of a virtual book tour being done by the author. This didn’t change how I felt about the book or what I am about to say, but I did think that in the spirit of honesty and forthrightness, I ought to tell you guys that anyway.

Moving on…

Before the Scalpel: What Everyone Should Know About Anesthesia by Panchali Dhar, MD was an interesting look into the world of anesthesia, something that us normal people usually miss seeing (probably because we’re sleeping. ::rim shot:: Okay, no more bad jokes, promise).

The two best things about the book were A) The author is an actual anesthesiologist; she doesn’t just play one on TV, and B) The book is well written, walking the fine line between being easy to understand by the patients who don’t have medical degrees, yet including a lot of accurate medical information.  It is easy to veer off into one direction or the other, but Dr Dhar does a great job of balancing the two needs.

Before the Scalpel covers a lot of situations - not just your standard scenarios like giving birth or having open heart surgery, but also dealing with surgeries on children, mouth (oral) surgeries, and having cosmetic surgery, among others.

I don’t plan on having surgery any time soon, but I still found it fascinating how they formulate an approach, what goes into the training of an anesthesiologist, and how the patient is handled while under anesthesia (did you know that while the patient is being operated on, an anesthesiologist is there at all times?  I always thought that the anesthesiologist did their thing, and then left, but that’s not so.  They stay from beginning to end to monitor the patient at all times).

The publishers also put a lot effort into providing great visuals - diagrams of anesthesia machines, cute pictures of babies, and other great shots (like of a baby penguin pushing its way out of the egg while the penguin parents looked on.)  Too many books have pages of dry facts and no illustrations, something that’ll put you to sleep without the need of any anesthesia. I was impressed by how this book handled that.

If you or a loved one is facing surgery in the near future, and you’re worried about the effects of the anesthesia or you want to know what your options are, I would highly recommend reading this book.  I have a coworker at the library whose father is very sick and is facing yet another surgery - I think I’m going to give her this book to read, because she’s a worrier, and it might help put her mind at ease.

I give Before the Scalpel 4.75 out of 5 stars.  Highly recommended for anyone facing surgery, or for anyone looking at entering the anesthesiology field.

Havs

I had heard about The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls from SmallWorld Reads (another book blog), who highly recommended it.  It turns out that Glass Castle was on the New York Times bestseller list for two years, and yet I had never heard of it until SmallWorld mentioned it.  Don’t ask me where I’ve been.

Now that I’ve finally read it, I can see why SmallWorld (and the rest of the world, incidentally) loved it so much.  This autobiography reminded me in some ways of Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks.  Both sets of parents had an “interesting” outlook on parenting (basically, let the kids do whatever they wanted, as long as it didn’t actually kill anyone else) and they were both raised in extreme poverty.  But while Nicholas’ parents at least tried to feed and clothe their children, Jeannette’s parents didn’t always even do that.

This is an honest and open memoir - the some of the things that Jeannette went through as a child makes your heart hurt.  Her parents, at many points during her childhood, did not provide even the most basic of necessities - food, clothing, and at some points, shelter.  Yet unlike A Child Called It, where this is because the parent is trying to torture the child, in Glass Castle it is more simply because the parents are free-spirits, with a distinct lack of planning skills.  Oh, and the father is an alcoholic who drinks most of their money away.

At one point, a family member dies, leaving the parents with a house and quite a bit of money.  I was cheering for the family at this point - surely they would use this money to actually get ahead in life, right?  But even as I was cheering for them, I knew it wouldn’t happen.  The parents are beyond irresponsible, and sure enough, the money soon disappeared. The house fell into major disrepair, and they eventually left and moved back East, leaving the house empty behind them.

The most mind-boggling part of the book is that Jeannette clearly loves her parents.  Even though they leave her and her siblings nothing to eat at various times (forcing Jeannette to eat butter for dinner at one point) and even though their parenting style is far beyond neglectful, into the realm of outright child abuse, Jeannette seems to have been able to look back on her life and appreciate the good parts about her parents, and the things they tried to do for their children.

I think this is what makes this memoir so wonderful - it is not bitter or hateful in any way.  She loves her parents, warts and all.  It is a testament to the human spirit that she could endure something like this, and still look back on it all with love for her parents.

Despite this upbringing (or perhaps in some ways, because of it) Jeannette became quite successful in the news world, eventually becoming a columnist for MSNBC.com, until she decided to take a break and just write books for a while.  If you’re interested in more information about Glass Castle, then you’ll definitely want to check out this interview done with Jeannette Walls (warning: It’s long!) where she talks about her parents, the book, and the impact it’s had on her life.

Glass Castle was a terrific memoir - one of the best I’ve read.  I give it 4.75 out of 5 stars.  If you’re one of the few people left who haven’t read this book, go check it out.  You won’t regret it.

Hava

The Secret of the Great Pyramid: How One Man’s Obsession Led to the Solution of Ancient Egypt’s Greatest Mystery by Bob Brier and Jean-Pierre Houdin was an incredibly interesting read.  I literally couldn’t put it down.  It all started when Jean-Pierre Houdin (who was not an expert on Egyptian anything but was a well-known and successful architect in France) watched a special on TV about how the Great Pyramid was built.

Except as he watched the show, he realized that the two explanations given (the two that were always given as being the only possible ways it could have happened) didn’t make any logical sense.  His builder’s mind went to work, and he realized that there had to be another way.

A normal person would have said, “Oh, that doesn’t make sense.  I wonder how it really happened?” and then went on with their lives.  Not Houdin.  He quit his job, sold his house, and spent years working on the problem.  The subtitle to the book said “one man’s obsession” but I think that’s putting it lightly.

Houdin put together incredibly detailed computer models and approached the problem from the point of view of an architect, not an Egyptologist.  He had no preconceived notions of what the Egyptians did, and therefore came to a completely new and novel explanation.  Along the way, he met Bob Brier who helped his ideas get into the scholarly world and helped him receive funding to pay for the work.

The great part was how the book was written.  I felt like I was reading a murder mystery novel; that I had to turn the page to find out what happens next!  It was fast-paced, and the ending was surprising.  I learned a ton about Egypt (and the pyramids in particular) in the process, without ever feeling like I was actually learning.  It was all just so interesting.  I found myself wanting to read every third page outloud to my husband because it had something new and exciting on it.

My only complaint was that the author reiterated the two old explanations for how the pyramids were built several times, along with why it was that they couldn’t be true.  He must have explained it three times, at least.  The first time, I said, “Wow, I didn’t know that!”  The second time, I thought, “Didn’t he already cover this?”  The third time I just started skipping paragraphs until I could find something new to read again.

I don’t know if the author forgot that he had explained that earlier in the book, and so had added it again and again, or if he just thought it was so darn important that he needed to explain it multiple times to make sure his audience truly understood, but either way, that was annoying to me.

But honestly, that was my only complaint.  If you have even the slightest interest in the pyramids of Egypt, or of architecture, or if you’d enjoy a clean murder mystery (no blood in sight!) you’d love this book.  Published in October of 2008, it’s the very newest theories on the pyramids, and I for one found it fascinating.  Even National Geographic’s gotten in on the act and has put together a special about it called Unlocking the Great Pyramid that goes on sale on January 20th.  Perhaps I’ll request that the library bring it in…

I give The Secret of the Great Pyramid 4.75 out of 5 stars.  Loved it.

Havs

PS For anyone interested on what exactly Houdin’s great theory was, please check out the comment section. And while you’re there, leave a comment.  I love to hear from my readers!

Shut Up, I’m Talking (And Other Diplomacy Lessons I Learned in the Israeli Government) by Gregory Levey was a downright hilarious book.  I spent at least half of the book laughing uproariously.  I think it rather annoyed my husband, actually.

But here’s the general gist of the book: This is the autobiography of Gregory Levey , who grew up as a secular Jew in Canada.  He went to a Jewish school for elementary and junior high, and then went to regular public school for high school.  So he was raised somewhat in the Jewish background, although he is atheist and doesn’t believe in the Jewish religion, or in God in general.

Well, he decides as a second-year law student that law school was just way, way too boring, and he wants to go join the Israeli Army (yes, this is rather random, but as you’ll see as you read his book, most of his life seems to be have been rather random.  In fact, I’d say that sums up his life in a nutshell: Random).  While waiting for his army stint to begin, he decides that he wants to be an intern at the UN for the Israeli government, and so he spends several months trying to do just that.  He ends up getting a job as a speech writer instead.

His story proceeds from there, and I don’t want to give everything away so I won’t, but can I just tell you again how darn FUNNY this book is?  Usually when I read a book, I try to mark the pages that I think are particularly humorous/heartwarming /touching, or otherwise noteworthy, so I can use the quotes in my review.  For Shut Up, I’m Talking, I realized that I would basically have to quote the entire first chapter.  But I’m just not that dedicated to this job, sorry.

But I will quote from the introduction (the Author’s Note).  Here it is:

As I write this note, things don’t look good in the Middle East.  I’m not sure when you’re reading this, but I assume that things still don’t look good in the Middle East, because they never really do.  If things looked good in the Middle East, it wouldn’t look like the Middle East.  It might look like, say, Canada, with camels.

Having been to the Middle East, and having ridden on a camel, that struck me as particularly funny.  Or perhaps my sense of humor has been seriously screwed up by a lack of sleep lately, who knows.

Although this is a great book about the inside workings of the UN and of the Israeli government, it by no means is a definitive book about what is happening in the Middle East.  In fact, that is rather the point of the book: The author realizing that there really is no plan when it comes to politics and policy.  Everyone in the Israeli government is basically playing it by ear, 24/7.  It’s a disheartening, eye-opening, and laughter-inducing book.

I couldn’t put it down.  4.75 out of 5 stars.  Great book - I’m hoping this won’t be the last we hear of Gregory Levey.

Hava

I am the Central Park Jogger: A Story of Hope and Possibility by Trisha Meili was an amazing testament of the human will to get better - the indomitable human spirit.

I was only 8 when Trisha Meili was attacked in Central Park, and so I have no recollection of the event being publicized across the nation.  Kids can be so oblivious, and I think I tended to be more oblivious than most.  I had heard references of it in passing through the years, so when I saw her book on the shelf, I knew the very general outlines of what had happened.

But nothing could have prepared me for this book.  It was an autobiography (one of my favorite kinds of books) but better yet, it was written by a person who didn’t wallow in self-pity, who didn’t whine and complain about how hard life was, and who certainly didn’t play the blame game.  She was too busy getting better!

Can I just say how darn likable she is?  Trisha pushes herself through therapy, determined to get better, determined to not let this ruin her life.  And she had a lot of therapy to go through - she was in the hospital for seven months.  In a coma for weeks.  She has to learn how to swallow, how to roll over, how to walk, how to eat, how to think, how to make decisions - all over again.

She said that she went from being a baby to being an adult in seven months.  She is a true inspiration because she has such a can-do spirit.  For anyone who has suffered through a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) there couldn’t be a better book to read than this one.  And even for those of us who haven’t, there is still so much to learn from her.

Part of the story is her love life - she dated quite a few men throughout the book, and I kept hoping she’d find her true love by end.  And (not to ruin the story or anything!) but she finally did.  I loved reading that part, because it just seemed so fitting that after she’s gone through a rebirth in her life, she would finally be ready to find The One.

If you want a feel-good, inspirational story, you honestly couldn’t get any better than this one.

4.75 out of 5 stars.  Good luck, Trisha - I wish you all the best!

Havs

I’m not sure how to describe 1 Dead in the Attic: After Katrina by Chris Rose. It was very depressing, yet at times made me laugh and gave me hope for this world.

I guess I could start with the easy stuff: The author is a columnist at The Times-Picayune, the local newspaper for New Orleans. The book is a compilation of his daily columns, starting after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005.

Some of the columns were darkly funny, some of the columns were just plain dark.  Some of them gave you a renewed confidence in mankind, others made you question how people that horrid could have lived for so long.

I can say one thing for sure: This was an eye-opener of a book.  I have never been to New Orleans, and so I witnessed the destruction on TV with horrified detachment, much as most of America did.  A few months after it happened it faded from view and I forgot about it, to be honest.  I didn’t want to, and I didn’t mean to, but life does have a habit of going on.

1 Dead in the Attic was a needed reminder that although I may have moved on, life in New Orleans didn’t, at least not in the same way.  Many people suffered through bouts of depression; some people committed suicide because of it.  I’ve never lived through anything like Hurricane Katrina, and I had never thought about what would be happening a year after the storm hit, or two years, or three.  If I had, I would have realized on an intellectual level that people would be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, but I never got that far.

I’m feeling rather guilty now for my negligence, but that can’t be blamed on Rose.  He doesn’t set out to make the readers depressed.  It’s just how I reacted.

Lest you think the whole book is depressing, let me share one of the funnier columns with you.  Although Rose stayed in New Orleans after Katrina, the rest of his family went to Maryland and stayed for several months, so he would travel back and forth between the two cities regularly.  Here is a column about one such trip:

[B]efore each journey, I check with my kids by phone to see what they need from our house in New Orleans.

Of course, they need everything, they tell me.  Every toy, every article of clothing, every piece of furniture, everything that hangs on the walls, every piece of building material down to the studs.

“Itemize,” I urge them.

“Barbies,” they tell me.

“I can do that,” I tell them.

And so my chore began one afternoon, as I crouched and crawled into their secret places in our house - small, dark spaces I have never been in, places that are not hospitable to people larger than, say, a dorm refrigerator.

In the process, I discovered that there has been a population of approximately fifty Barbies living under my roof.  I did not know this.

An absurd number, I was thinking, but then I remembered that I used to collect empty egg cartons when I was a kid and I probably had a couple hundred - a closet full of them - before my mother brought the hammer down on that curious little hobby of mine.

Truth is, I don’t recall even the barest notion of why I collected egg cartons nor what I did with them.   I just did.  So who am I to tell my kids they have too many Barbies?

Let them be, I say.  I mean, I turned out okay, right?

Don’t answer that.

~Page 81 - 82 of 1 Dead in the Attic by Chris Rose

He is extremely easy to read; I’ve had good luck with newspaper writers in the past, and this book was no exception.  He is a talented writer.  He is frank and direct, and everything is so real that you feel as if you too lived through the destruction that Hurricane Katrina wrought upon New Orleans.

My only critique of the book was that the columns were not in chronological order, nor could I see that there was any rhyme or reason to how they were published.  It was disconcerting to see that we had jumped back in time three months for no apparent reason.  I eventually stopped paying attention to the dates of the columns so it would stop bothering me, an easy fix.

Overall, I give 1 Dead in the Attic 4.75 out of 5 stars.  And my thanks to Mr. Rose for publishing it.  I needed to read this book.

Havs

Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs by Elissa Wall and Lisa Pulitzer has more than a heck of a subtitle.  It contains an amazing story about a girl forced into marriage at a stunning 14 years of age, and to a 19-year-old first cousin to boot.

I have read three polygamy autobiographies now: Shattered Dreams, Escape, and Stolen Innocence.  Out of those three, I enjoyed Stolen Innocence the most.  As I said in my review of Escape, Carolyn Jessop seemed to be very bitter towards the FLDS Church and everything that had happened to her.  I didn’t get that vibe from this book - instead, Elissa seemed to concentrate on showing how much she loved her family, and the fact that what she was doing was for her family.  She carries a picture of her two younger sisters in her wallet with her at all times, so she can remember that she’s fighting to give her sisters freedom from the FLDS cult and everything that comes along with it.

Elissa’s story is markedly different from Carolyn Jessop’s or Irene Spencer’s.  She is the first wife of her husband, Allen Steed, and he never takes on another wife, so she doesn’t deal with “sister wives” and everything that comes along with that.

She also gets pregnant four times in two years, but loses three to miscarriages and one as a stillbirth, so when she leaves the sect, she doesn’t worry about trying to sneak any children out with her.  At the time, she thought that God was mad at her, which was why he kept killing her babies (this is a common teaching in the FLDS Church - if you lose a baby, it’s because you’ve done something wrong and God is cursing you for it).

She found out after she got out and had prenatal care for her next pregnancy, that she had Rh-negative blood, something easily fixed by modern medicine, but otherwise fatal for the babies.  She has had two children since then with no problems.

It’s amazing what modern medicine and simply having access to information can do.

Another big difference in the books is the poverty that the other two women suffered - Elissa Wall doesn’t focus on any of that.  Her parents go through periods of prosperity and then periods of difficulties, but overall, her family was much better off than many polygamous families are.  Her father has specialized skills, and the jobs he was able to do were high-paying.  This made for a big difference in Elissa’s quality of life.

Last but definitely not least is how her family got into polygamy to begin with.  In the other books, the families had been in the FLDS Church for generations.  The Walls, on the other hand, grew up LDS.  Elissa’s father and his first wife, Audrey, were practicing Mormons when Audrey’s parents joined the FLDS Church.  Hoping to disprove the FLDS Church and find flaws in it, they started studying the religion.  They ended up joining the FLDS Church instead.

It’s not terribly common for people to convert to the FLDS Church, so for a long time, they were looked upon as outsiders.  Along with that was the fact that Audrey wasn’t born and raised with the idea that polygamy was the correct way of life, and so for her, when her husband married Elissa’s mother, Sharon Steed, and then later on was given a third wife, it was very difficult for her to handle.  This made for a tense family life.

The children, however, were raised in a fairly relaxed environment because of the background of the parents, so they often did things that other families in the religion did not: Attend concerts, football games, play musical instruments, ride ATV vehicles, listen to classical music, and more.  I think that this more open environment was a big help to Elissa when she finally did get out of the church.

What makes her story the most remarkable, of course, is the fact that it was Elissa’s story that helped put Warren Jeffs behind bars.  He was prosecuted for being an accomplice in rape - her rape.  She was forced to marry her cousin, and then when she went to Warren and complained that she was being forced to do things she didn’t want to do (she literally didn’t know the word “rape” at that point) he told her that she had to submit to everything her husband wanted her to do, no questions asked.

It is because of Elissa’s brave actions that Warren Jeffs is now behind bars.  She chronicles the trial and everything that led up to it, which in itself was fascinating.  She ends the book with the raid of the YFZ (Youth For Zion) Ranch down in Texas, making this book the most up-to-date and applicable to the headlines in the newspapers, out of any of the polygamy books.

This was an absolutely captivating and stunning story.  If you’re only going to read one book on polygamy, make it this one.  I give it 4.75 out of 5 stars.

Hava

PS I have His Favorite Wife by Susan Schmidt on my list to read.  I’ll have to read and review that one sometime, so I can get a well-rounded view of the polygamy world.  Each book has been so different from the others, I really feel like I’ve learned something new with each book that I read on the subject.

Fun Friday - The Weekly Review of Children’s Books

I originally picked up A Smart Girl’s Guide to Money: How to Make It, Save It, and Spend It by Nancy Holyoke and Ali Douglass because my niece (hi Hailey!) had checked it out, and I saw it when she returned it. I figured I had read plenty of guides on how to manage money as an adult - it was time to check out what the kids were being taught.

Again, I was surprised at how knowledge-packed the book turned out to be.  Perhaps I’m just not expecting enough out of children’s books, I don’t know, but so far I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the depth of the information given.

In A Smart Girl’s Guide to Money, American Girl teaches the whole cycle of money - it gives a list of 101 ways to make money (selling items or providing a variety of services) and also how to figure out if the business venture is profitable or not by doing a cost analysis.  It even talks about keeping a ledger and staying on a budget.  If there was a girl out there who read this book and took it to heart, she’d be a miniature Donald Trump (but hopefully with better hair!) by age 25.

The book also tackles sticky subjects from how to ask for an allowance raise, to recognizing and reigning in the impulse buying while at the mall.  It even touches ever so briefly on putting money into the stock market and paying taxes on what you earn.  (I told you I was shocked at how much was in here).

Yet it still managed to stay very readable and interesting to the average tweener (10 - 14 year old range).  It had lots of great drawings and quite a few multiple choice quizzes.

So comes the question: Would a boy read it?  No, I would say probably not - too many references to buying nail polish and new clothes at the mall, not to mention the fact that all of the drawings are of girls.  I haven’t looked to see, but I would hope something similar but aimed for the boy population has been produced, because it really did break down money management into children-sized pieces.

If your daughter wants to make money this summer, or if you’ve noticed that she tends to spend her money too freely and you’re hoping to give her a little direction, this would be an awesome book to get for her.  I honestly can’t think of anything critical or negative to say about it.

Warning: Childless adult is about to give out parenting advice - ignore at will!!

If I had a daughter, I would give her this book when starting her allowance, so she could be pointed in the right direction on how to handle her money, instead of just being handed money each week.  I was a pretty open spender as a child - I once spent $50 on candy and had a stomachache for a week.  I really could’ve used this book as a kid.

Overall, I give A Smart Girl’s Guide to Money 4.75 out of 5.

Hava

Dave Ramsey is one of those guys who a person either loves or hates. He tends to inspire pretty dramatic feelings both ways. Luckily for him, the majority of America seems to love him.

The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey was the first book that I ever read by Ramsey, and it was such an inspiration to me, that I instantly joined the Ramsey Fan Camp. I was struggling with some pretty large debts at that point (at least large in comparison to my income!) and I was barely keeping my head above water. I was told to read The Total Money Makeover - that it would help me. They were right.

I wish I could say that because of this book, I made major life changes and became debt free, but instead I just got a little better at juggling.  Eventually my husband and I were able to move and get into a better situation, to where we are now debt free. But the problem before was not Ramsey - it was me. Ramsey actually sums it up pretty well on page 4:

Winning at money is 80% behavior and 20% head knowledge. What we do isn’t the problem; doing it is. Most of us know what to do, but we just don’t do it. If I can control the guy in the mirror, I can be skinny and rich. We will let other books work on the skinny, and I will help you with the rich part. No, there are no secrets, and yes, this will be very hard. Hey, if it was easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.

If that kind of bluntness appeals to you, you’ll love this book.

The baby steps that Ramsey gives to get out of debt and stay there are the following (in order!):

1) Save up a baby emergency fund: $1,000.
2) Snowball your debts (a focused way of paying off your debts)
3) Finish your emergency fund: Save 3 - 6 months of expenses
4) Invest 15% of your income into a retirement fund
5) Save for your kid’s college fund (if you have children)
6) Pay off your mortgage on your home
7) Build wealth

My problem previously had been saving the $1000 baby emergency fund. When your bank account is perilously close to zero, it’s hard to fathom having $1000 in your savings account, waiting for a rainy day.  He talks about how to save the $1000 and gives some inspirational stories from people who did, so again, that was me, not him.

Okay, so onto my critiques (you knew it was coming!) As I said in Financial Peace, Ramsey is a Christian who quotes the Bible fairly regularly to make his point. If you’re not Christian, do keep that in mind. It isn’t overwhelming, but it is there.

Secondly, it has been said that Ramsey is too conservative when it comes to savings, but overly liberal when it comes to retirement numbers. I would have to agree with that. He says that you can afford to put your savings for retirement on hold until after you’ve paid off all your debts, plus saved a 3 - 6 month emergency fund, by being very generous when it comes to his estimates on a “normal” return on investments. I don’t agree that you ought to expect a 12% rate of return every year on your stocks. Yeah, it would be nice, but hardly likely. Ramsey’s great for advice on getting out of debt, but I would pick someone else to get investment advice from.

These shortcomings aside, this is a very inspirational book - it’s liberally dosed with stories from couples who have worked through debt and came out the other side debt-free and liberated. Reading stories of these “gazelle intense” couples makes you want to stand up and yell, “I can do this too!” I think this is the monetary equivalent of No Plot? No Problem by Chris Baty - Dave Ramsey makes you truly believe in yourself.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars. Yeah, he has his shortcomings, but overall, this is just a darn good book.

Hava

Photo Credit: Scol22

Affordable Remodel: How to Get Custom Results on any Budget by Fernando Pages Ruiz was a great book on remodeling.  It had enough in-depth information so that the reader wasn’t left saying, “But now what?” but it wasn’t so technical that it would lose the clueless (the clueless, of course, being me).

I had finished reading another book on remodeling a couple of weeks before starting this one, and the differences between them were astounding.  This one had lots of gorgeous pictures, clean illustrations, and step-by-step instructions that were never condescending or patronizing.

The other remodel book was written by a guy who spent the majority of his time saying that you needed to hire someone to do the work for you.  And he did it in a very patronizing tone, as if the reader was simply too dumb to know how to do anything.  The only project in the whole book that he said the home owner could “easily” do was painting.  I should hope so!

But Affordable Remodel was written with the goal of educating the homeowner enough that he or she would be able to do most of the work themselves, or at least have a good idea of how the work should go so that they could oversee the contractors intelligently and not get taken for a ride.  There’s also a lot of advice on how to get something done cheaper, although that’s not as big of a focus as you might expect, considering the name of the book.

I was surprised at how fun it was to read this book - I would get started while eating breakfast, and would keep reading even after I’d finished eating.  I almost ended up late to work a couple of times because I lost track of time!  This, while reading a remodel book! Not what I was expecting…

If you’re wanting an idea-generating book, plus loads of helpful information, make sure to pick this book up.  I give Affordable Remodel 4.75 out of 5 stars.

Havs

PS If you’re on the hunt for ways to save money, make sure to check out the Thrifty blog here at Today - Beth is one of my good friends, and her blog is just awesome! Lots of great ideas on there.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman is one of the best sources for love advice out there, and I don’t say that lightly.  I know that field is awfully crowded.  But Gary Chapman’s approach to love is simple: There’s in love and then there’s loving someone.  When you’re in love with someone, it’s like the movies and the songs and the Hallmark cards - “Oh, how I love thee!” - but unfortunately, it will not last.  Sorry if I just burst your bubble.

Scientific studies have shown that the in love feeling lasts only 2 years, at most.  When people start to come down off that high, then they think they’re in trouble - there’s got to be something wrong with our marriage! - but that’s not true.  That’s just you coming back to planet Earth.  If you can figure out the five languages of love (and more specifically, which language your spouse speaks) you can easily transition to the loving someone stage.

The five languages of love are:

*Words of Affirmation
*Quality Time
*Receiving Gifts
*Acts of Service
*Physical Touch

He explains each language in-depth, and gives examples of people who “speak” a certain language.  Basically, if your spouse speaks the Acts of Service language and you’re always giving him gifts, he’s not going to feel loved and you’re not going to know why.

Once you figure out which language each of you speak, you can start telling your spouse you love him, using a language he understands.  It’s the equivalent of me going up to my husband and telling him I love him in Chinese.  He’s not going to understand a word I just said.  That’s what happens when you tell your spouse you love him by using the wrong love language.

It’s a fast read, it makes sense, and it’s helpful.  My only word of caution is that the author is Christian, and quotes from the Bible and talks about Jesus throughout the book, but not to an overwhelming degree.  If you’re not Christian, I don’t think you’ll find it too much to handle, but just so you know it’s in there. And if you are Christian, you’ll be right at home with this book.

Overall, I give to 4.75 out of 5 stars.  I honestly think that if every young couple coming home from the church or courthouse after getting married could have this in their pile of wedding presents, our divorce rate would drop dramatically.  I think it’s that powerful.  Two giant thumbs up.

Hava

PS Still in the dating stage? Check out Dating here at Today - it’s got lots of helpful advice.

Photo Credits: Bjearwicke

Climbers and Wall Plants by Philippa Bensley was a well-written book on climbing plants - exactly what I was needing when I checked the book out of the library.  I am just starting to get into planting and gardening, and I really don’t know a whole lot about different types of plants.  I know what I want to do (I have a large wooden fence that I want to have plants climb up,) but not how to do it.

Climbers and Wall Plants helped me figure out the differences between climbers, and what I actually needed for my own garden.  I learned from the book that there are two different kinds of climbers: Self-supporting climbers and social climbers.

*Self-supporting climbers don’t need to be tied or staked to anything - they can climb up a brick wall or fence and send out “suckers” that will cling to the fence to support it.  They need no outside help.

*The social climbers have to have a trellis or netting that it can climb up and through, and will often need help along the way in terms of ties and stakes.  They use twining leafstalks, tendrils, stems, or thorns to cling to the structure.

Who knew?  I certainly didn’t.  This was a great book for a gardening novice like me.

The book was well laid out, it explained terms and ideas simply, and had lots of pretty pictures. More than just a picture book to drool over though, it actually provided helpful information - it should have been called Climbers and Wall Plants for Dummies.

I give Climbers and Wall Plants 4.75 out of 5 stars.

Hava