Nonfiction Book Reviews

There is an old saying, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” Mistaken Identity: Two Families, One Survivor, Unwavering Hope proves it.

Here’s the lowdown:

A busload of college students were driving home from doing banquet work in another city when they were struck by a truck, killing five out of the nine people inside. One of the survivors, Laura Van Ryn, was thrown 50 feet and it was touch and go for a while as to whether she’d live or not.  She lapsed into a deep coma, and the family had no idea if she’d ever wake up.

Five weeks come and go, and Laura slowly made progress.  Finally, she’s in good enough shape to start talking coherently, and do things like eating, exercising, etc.  As a part of the therapy, the physical therapist asked Laura to write her name. She scrawled across the page:

W-H-I-T-N-E-Y

Turns out, in the car wreck, there were two girls who didn’t know each other very well, but who looked strangely similar. The purse for Laura Van Ryn landed next to Whitney Cerak, and the first responders to the scene took one look at the driver’s license and identified Whitney as being Laura.

So Whitney’s family had a funeral (closed casket - the parents never looked at their daughter’s body upon their own request), gave away her clothing, and in general did their best to move on, all while their daughter was really in a hospital room in a deep coma.

And then there were Laura’s parents, loving and caring for someone who they thought was their daughter, and when they noticed small anomalies like her teeth being different, they attributed it all to the accident. “The force of the accident must have pushed her teeth that way,” they told themselves.

When Laura mumbled, “False parents” and pointed to her dad, her dad got huffy and thought, “False! I put you through college and have loved you and fed you and done everything I could for you. Why are you calling me a false dad?”

It wasn’t until Whitney became mentally quicker and more agile did the truth come out. It was confirmed with dental records. That day, the family of the Van Ryn’s went home to grieve the death of their daughter, and the Ceraks were called to find out that their daughter was raised from the dead.

Overall, it was one of the most interesting stories I think I have ever heard. It’s an amazing testament to the human mind, where an entire family could spend five weeks with a complete stranger they had never met, and yet believe the entire time that it was their daughter.

So yes, it was an interesting story, but for anyone who is not a born-again Christian, the book will make you uncomfortable. Both families are born-again Christians - both fathers work as pastors. The daughters were both going to a Christian college. Every page has some reference to scriptures, singing gospel songs, praying, etc. The entire book revolves around giving praise to Jesus, having a relationship with Jesus, praying to Jesus…You get the picture.

So if you’re born-again Christian, you’ll absolutely love this book. It will be an affirmation of your testimony, and you’ll come away from it with a stronger faith than ever.

If you’re another religion, or atheist, I suggest you skip this book. The constant references to Jesus will be too big of a distraction for you to enjoy it.

I give Mistaken Identity 4 out of 5 stars. The writing style was a bit simplistic and it didn’t end up being one of my favorites, but it certainly had an interesting plotline.

Hava

PS In case you’re in the mood for some real fiction, make sure to check out a fellow Today.com blog called Fiction Book Blog.  It’s written by a coworker of mine from my local library - when he found out that you could write about books and get paid for it, he got excited and asked for the website address to apply.  Now, he’s covering the other end of the spectrum: Fiction.  If you want variety in your reviews, you couldn’t ask for a better complement to my blog than his.

Dave Ramsey is one of those guys who a person either loves or hates. He tends to inspire pretty dramatic feelings both ways. Luckily for him, the majority of America seems to love him.

The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey was the first book that I ever read by Ramsey, and it was such an inspiration to me, that I instantly joined the Ramsey Fan Camp. I was struggling with some pretty large debts at that point (at least large in comparison to my income!) and I was barely keeping my head above water. I was told to read The Total Money Makeover - that it would help me. They were right.

I wish I could say that because of this book, I made major life changes and became debt free, but instead I just got a little better at juggling.  Eventually my husband and I were able to move and get into a better situation, to where we are now debt free. But the problem before was not Ramsey - it was me. Ramsey actually sums it up pretty well on page 4:

Winning at money is 80% behavior and 20% head knowledge. What we do isn’t the problem; doing it is. Most of us know what to do, but we just don’t do it. If I can control the guy in the mirror, I can be skinny and rich. We will let other books work on the skinny, and I will help you with the rich part. No, there are no secrets, and yes, this will be very hard. Hey, if it was easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.

If that kind of bluntness appeals to you, you’ll love this book.

The baby steps that Ramsey gives to get out of debt and stay there are the following (in order!):

1) Save up a baby emergency fund: $1,000.
2) Snowball your debts (a focused way of paying off your debts)
3) Finish your emergency fund: Save 3 - 6 months of expenses
4) Invest 15% of your income into a retirement fund
5) Save for your kid’s college fund (if you have children)
6) Pay off your mortgage on your home
7) Build wealth

My problem previously had been saving the $1000 baby emergency fund. When your bank account is perilously close to zero, it’s hard to fathom having $1000 in your savings account, waiting for a rainy day.  He talks about how to save the $1000 and gives some inspirational stories from people who did, so again, that was me, not him.

Okay, so onto my critiques (you knew it was coming!) As I said in Financial Peace, Ramsey is a Christian who quotes the Bible fairly regularly to make his point. If you’re not Christian, do keep that in mind. It isn’t overwhelming, but it is there.

Secondly, it has been said that Ramsey is too conservative when it comes to savings, but overly liberal when it comes to retirement numbers. I would have to agree with that. He says that you can afford to put your savings for retirement on hold until after you’ve paid off all your debts, plus saved a 3 - 6 month emergency fund, by being very generous when it comes to his estimates on a “normal” return on investments. I don’t agree that you ought to expect a 12% rate of return every year on your stocks. Yeah, it would be nice, but hardly likely. Ramsey’s great for advice on getting out of debt, but I would pick someone else to get investment advice from.

These shortcomings aside, this is a very inspirational book - it’s liberally dosed with stories from couples who have worked through debt and came out the other side debt-free and liberated. Reading stories of these “gazelle intense” couples makes you want to stand up and yell, “I can do this too!” I think this is the monetary equivalent of No Plot? No Problem by Chris Baty - Dave Ramsey makes you truly believe in yourself.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars. Yeah, he has his shortcomings, but overall, this is just a darn good book.

Hava

Photo Credit: Scol22

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman is one of the best sources for love advice out there, and I don’t say that lightly.  I know that field is awfully crowded.  But Gary Chapman’s approach to love is simple: There’s in love and then there’s loving someone.  When you’re in love with someone, it’s like the movies and the songs and the Hallmark cards - “Oh, how I love thee!” - but unfortunately, it will not last.  Sorry if I just burst your bubble.

Scientific studies have shown that the in love feeling lasts only 2 years, at most.  When people start to come down off that high, then they think they’re in trouble - there’s got to be something wrong with our marriage! - but that’s not true.  That’s just you coming back to planet Earth.  If you can figure out the five languages of love (and more specifically, which language your spouse speaks) you can easily transition to the loving someone stage.

The five languages of love are:

*Words of Affirmation
*Quality Time
*Receiving Gifts
*Acts of Service
*Physical Touch

He explains each language in-depth, and gives examples of people who “speak” a certain language.  Basically, if your spouse speaks the Acts of Service language and you’re always giving him gifts, he’s not going to feel loved and you’re not going to know why.

Once you figure out which language each of you speak, you can start telling your spouse you love him, using a language he understands.  It’s the equivalent of me going up to my husband and telling him I love him in Chinese.  He’s not going to understand a word I just said.  That’s what happens when you tell your spouse you love him by using the wrong love language.

It’s a fast read, it makes sense, and it’s helpful.  My only word of caution is that the author is Christian, and quotes from the Bible and talks about Jesus throughout the book, but not to an overwhelming degree.  If you’re not Christian, I don’t think you’ll find it too much to handle, but just so you know it’s in there. And if you are Christian, you’ll be right at home with this book.

Overall, I give to 4.75 out of 5 stars.  I honestly think that if every young couple coming home from the church or courthouse after getting married could have this in their pile of wedding presents, our divorce rate would drop dramatically.  I think it’s that powerful.  Two giant thumbs up.

Hava

PS Still in the dating stage? Check out Dating here at Today - it’s got lots of helpful advice.

Photo Credits: Bjearwicke

The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About the Law of Attraction by James L. Garlow and Rick Marschall was a book that definitely didn’t impress me. I had originally heard about The Secret from a friend of mine who really believed it with every fiber of his soul.  I sat down and watched the movie with him to humor him, and although at the time I thought, “Wow, that looked really interesting - could that really be true?” afterwards I started to really think about it.

After discussing it with my sister, we eventually came to the conclusion that The Secret comes apart at the seams for the same reason that karma does: How do you account for when bad things happen to good people, when according to karma (and The Secret), everything that happened to you is your fault?  Can you honestly say that a little girl who was raped repeatedly, hacked to pieces, and then fed to the dogs was somehow responsible for that happening because she didn’t make her bed that morning?  Truly, how could any little girl, or any human being at all, be horrid enough to deserve a fate like that?

So I decided that karma, and The Secret, couldn’t be true.  I went on my merry way, until I saw this book.  I thought, “Wow, how cool!  A book that debunks The Secret!”  I knew that the whole “everything that’s happened to you in your whole life is because of your own thoughts and actions, so suck it up” was wrong, but what else was I missing? I was sure there were other glaring inconsistencies in the movie/book that I had overlooked.

As I started reading though, I realized quickly that the whole “expose” could be summed in one sentence: We are Christians; The Secret is New Age stuff; we don’t believe in New Age stuff; Christ is so much better and makes you so much happier.  Okay, so it’s a run-on sentence, but you get the picture. I had expected something in-depth, something helpful, but instead got several hundred pages of the above, just regurgitated in different forms.  They did touch on the whole karma idea, for roughly 2 paragraphs (I counted).  That was the only time it was brought up in the entire book.  The rest of the time, all of the arguments seemed to base on the fact that there was no way The Secret could be correct, because it was based on New Age philosophy, and that’s of the devil.

How could that be even remotely helpful?  I think it really didn’t help things that I didn’t know from the beginning that this was a “Christian” book.  After an hour of skimming through and becoming more disgusted by the moment, I flipped the book over and checked the labeling section, to see where the publisher suggested that the book be filed at in the bookstore.  It was then that I saw the Christianity label.  I had not realized that going in, and I think that if I had, perhaps my reference point and what I was expecting out of the book would have been different.

I was expecting an unbiased review of The Secret, much like the Debunking 9/11 Myths by Popular Mechanics was an unbiased review of what happened on that tragic day.  Debunking 9/11 Myths wasn’t written from a Christian point of view, with references and debates hinging upon that.  Instead, it referenced studies, reports, and interviews, and based what it said on facts.  None of that was to be found in The Secret Revealed.

I give this book 1.25 stars out of 5.  Don’t waste your time reading it - I summed up pretty much everything it said in the above four paragraphs anyway.

Financial Peace: Restoring Financial Hope to You and Your Family by Dave Ramsey is an average book for those who are just starting out on the road back to fiscal responsibility. If you have never read a book about how to manage your finances and want a very general overarching idea of where to start, this book is for you. If you’re a fan of Dave Ramsey and want to learn a bit more about his background and how he got started counseling people on their finances, this book is for you.

Unfortunately, I don’t fall under either of those categories, and so although the book was slightly entertaining to me (Dave can be quite funny at times), overall the book simply seemed repetitive. Every financial book seems to cover the same bases: Pay yourself first, put together a budget and stick to it, always spend less than you make, spend time looking for good bargains (never pay retail!) and put together an emergency fund in case of a rainy day. Dave is no different – he covers these same points just like every other book out there.

The book also suffers from being on the older side – it was originally written in 1992, and then reprinted in 1997, and it definitely shows. Last but not least, Dave Ramsey is Christian, so he spends a lot of his time quoting scriptures out of the Bible. I’m a Christian too, so this didn’t bother me too much (although I’ve never figured out how finances and Christianity related to each other), but I did think that was worthy of mention, because if that’s something that would bug you, you won’t want to pick this book up, or any book by Dave Ramsey since he does the same thing in his other books.

To be fair, there were parts that made me laugh. Case in point: Dave was trying to drive home the point that bad things will always happen to you, and so he gave the following “test” for the reader to perform:

“Put this book down now. Hold your right hand up in front of you with your elbow bent. Now reach your left hand across the back of your wrist to where your fingertips touch your main artery, and then check for a pulse. Is your heart beating? If you are alive and walking around, things will happen to you that you don’t think will. The only way you can avoid unexpected financial events is not to be alive – so they’re not ‘unexpected’ events, are they?”

He also said, “One of my friends said her grandmother taught her to have a G.O.K fund – God Only Knows.” That made me laugh out loud, which isn’t common for a nonfiction book on finances. I decided my emergency fund needed to be renamed to the GOK fund, because that sounds much cooler than a plain ole’ Emergency Fund.

But overall, a much better book to read Dave Ramsey’s other book, “Total Money Makeover.” That has more concrete information that is actually usable.

Overall, I give it 3.25 stars out of 5.

Havs