Nonfiction Book Reviews

Before I get into what will surely be a cosmic-bending, mind-opening new post (as they all are, right?) I wanted to tell those of you who read my “Only Women Will Understand This Post” post that I now have an update on what I think the relationship is.  Be sure to check out the comment section and scroll all the way down to my comment, where I lay out my newest theory.

For the rest of you who actually have a life, here’s the cosmic-bending, mind-opening post as promised:

Umm………

What, you actually expected something like that?  You do realize what blog you’re on, right?

And in other news, I have to tell you guys about one of the strangest patrons our library has ever been graced with.  We have self-centered patrons, rude and mean patrons, and of course, just-this-side-of-the-loony-bin patrons.  This patron is of the loony-bin persuasion.

She started out normal enough.  She came in every day to use the computer, which we have quite a few patrons who do that.  Over time, she started telling us about how controlling and horrible her boyfriend was.  Sympathetic, we all listened to her complaints and naturally took her side.

Then one day, she came in with a little stuffed cow (think Beanie Baby - check out the picture I took this morning with my camera to see this little guy in all his glory) and told us that her boyfriend told her that she couldn’t keep all of her stuffed animals anymore - that she had to give some away.  She thought that she could give us one, and we’d take “good care of it.”  With as straight of faces as we could manage, we promised to take good care of the cow.  We took it and put it on a counter, where it sits to this day.

She named the cow (of course!) and told us that we had to make sure to pet Herman the Cow and feed it often.  At this point, I started to get more than a little weirded out by her.  She does realize that it is just a small stuffed animal, right?

Then one day she said that it was Herman’s birthday a couple of days later, so she was going to help celebrate it by bringing us all donuts.  Bribed into playing along (we’re an easy bribe, what can I say?) we agreed to help celebrate his birthday.  (Question of the Day: How does she know when he came off the assembly line?  Or does she instead count the day she bought him as his birthday?  Inquiring minds want to know.)

She made us promise to feed Herman a donut if she brought them in for us, and we all solemnly swore we’d do so.  I missed the day of the celebration, so I’m not sure what all happened there (perhaps one of my coworkers wouldn’t mind leaving info in the comment section about it…?)

As time went by, she got stranger and stranger  (I know you don’t think it’s possible, but she did).  When she came in, she’d talk to Herman as she was signing up for the computer.

“Are they treating you okay here?  Are you getting enough carrots?” in a baby talk tone of voice usually reserved for infants.  Then she’d interrogate us on how we were treating him.  I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Not convinced that we were doing a good enough job of keeping Herman company, she brought in a stuffed cat on a rug so they could sit together and not be lonely.  Dutifully, we took the cat and placed it right next to Herman, where it has sat ever since.  (As you can see in the picture above, Kiki the Cat is nicely keeping Herman company.  Good Kiki.)

She has told me several times that her boyfriend won’t allow her to keep all of her stuffed animals, and can’t stand the way she treats them.  Although this boyfriend certainly sounds like a loser in some aspects, I can’t help but agree with him wholeheartedly on the whole stuffie business.  She is in her 40’s, I would guess, but treats these stuffed animals better than some people treat their children.

If you can see in the lower right-hand corner of the picture, there is a yellow note taped to the counter.  That is the instructions she gave us on how to take care of Herman the Cow (namely, he likes carrots and celery.)  It also has Kiki’s name on it, plus Herman’s birthday, so we can be sure to never forget that important piece of information.  Lucky us.

Because I’m not very good at keeping a straight face when she starts her baby talk with Herman, I try my best not to ever be the one to wait on her at the counter.  I don’t want to hurt the lady’s feelings, so if I do get stuck helping her, I umm and ahh my way through it until she leaves and I can go into the back and laugh.

Crazy is as crazy does.  Or something like that.

Hava

I like to think of myself as a practical girl - not a girly-girl, but someone that both guys and gals can get along with.  I’m not into hair, nails, or make-up, and I love to play geeky games like World of Warcraft online.

But apparently there is more girly-girl in me than I realized, because I’m about to write a post that only the gals out there will understand.

I know that it’s the patron’s own business, and I really shouldn’t care, but there is this girl and guy who come into the library.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Always in the same time period too - between 9 and 11 in the morning.

Well, the curiosity part comes in because I cannot tell if they are boyfriend and girlfriend, or just friends, or brother and sister (or some other type of relationship I haven’t thought up yet).  Because they come in together, you’d normally think boyfriend/girlfriend, but the way they act towards each other makes me think that if they’re dating, they ought to break up and move on to greener pastures.

It isn’t that they’re rude to each other; it’s just that they simply don’t ever talk to one another.  They never touch each other, never even acknowledge each other’s presence.  There is an extreme lack of chemistry between them, which to me discounts the friendship option too.  If you’re “just friends” with someone, wouldn’t that mean that you would laugh and talk with them, and enjoy their company?  These two act like the other has got the plague or something.

On the other hand, they act strange for a brother and sister pair also.  Why do they always come together?  If I were living with a brother of mine, I can see myself spending some time with him, but not having a standing date with him, where we go to the library together every single day to use the computers.  It seems a bit extreme.  Why not ever come in with a friend instead?

They’re younger (probably between 18 - 20 years of age) and I can’t see them not having any other friends in the world.  But as of yet, I’ve never seen either of them with anyone else (or even talking to anyone else for that matter).

So they don’t act like boyfriend/girlfriend, “just friends,” or brother/sister.  What’s left?  I checked out their hands, and if they are married, they don’t wear wedding rings (which I’m hoping is correct - that extreme lack of chemistry would be an even bigger problem if they were married).

The dumbest part of all is that if I knew, I wouldn’t care anymore.  It isn’t that this knowledge will make a difference in my life.  If I found out tomorrow what their relationship is, I doubt I’d remember past next week that I’d ever even wondered about it (again, I have the attention span of a gerbil.  I’m not exaggerating here).

It’s just the simple fact that I don’t know, and can’t figure out a smooth way of asking, that is driving me crazy.  Anyone out there who can relate to this?  Surely I can’t be the only one with an overblown sense of curiosity about things that are not relevant to me in the slightest!

As I said, only women will understand this post.  Men, feel free to laugh at me all you want.  I still want to know.

Any ideas on a “subtle” way of asking?  I was once mistaken as my brother’s girlfriend in high school (eewwww!) so I don’t want to make that mistake with these two.

Don’t worry, I am already fully aware that I need to get a life.

Hava

PS Feel free to speculate in the comment section on what you think their relationship is.  I can’t make my mind up, so I’d love an outside perspective (or five).