Nonfiction Book Reviews

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The combination of working at a library plus reviewing nonfiction books in my spare time meant only one thing - Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron was a must read for me.

It is about Dewey, a stray cat found in the return bin at the library one morning after a terribly cold night in Spencer, Iowa. Someone had dropped the cat down the return bin shoot, and the library director, Vicki Myron, found him in there, clinging to life.

The Spencer Public Library adopted the cat and made him their own. In this autobiography, Myron chronicles not only Dewey’s life but her own, and also the background and history of Iowa, family farms, and libraries.  She discusses going to school to get her masters in library science,  Carnegie libraries, and remodeling libraries, all items that were especially interesting to me as a librarian.

But much more than that, it was a touching memoir of what it means to love a cat wholeheartedly, not only in good times (Dewey brought a lot of fame and attention to this small corner of the world) but in bad - when Dewey started to age and his coat wasn’t as shiny and youthful as it was before.  (Yes, believe it or not, the library board actually discussed what to do with Dewey “now that he was old” and didn’t look as good.  Apparently, we Americans are not only obsessed with human youthfulness but cat youthfulness too.)

If you love cats, libraries, or the small town life, then you’ll adore Dewey. There are pictures of Dewey throughout the book but all of them are printed in black and white, which for an orange tabby means you lose something in the process. But the Spencer Public Library has put together a web page dedicated to only pictures of Dewey with great captions underneath.  After finishing the book, I enjoyed looking through all of the pictures.

Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat touched my heart - it made me think, it made me grateful, and it made me cry.

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Havs

I first heard about Adrift: 76 Days Lost at Sea by Steven Callahan when I read Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why by Laurence Gonzales.  Gonzales referred to Callahan’s experience quite extensively in Deep Survival, and I thought it sounded like a fascinating story.

Turns out, it was.

Callahan was an avid lover of the sea.  He would spend weeks out in the ocean on his boat, go into port to get some supplies, and then after just a day or two, head back out into the ocean.  He lived on the sea like you and I live in our homes.  He was extremely knowledgeable about the plant and animal life that lived and thrived out in the vast space he called the wet desert (an apt description: There you are, surrounded by miles and miles of water, but there is nothing to drink).

He entered into a race but there was bad weather from the start.  Undeterred, he went ahead with it, a decision that almost cost him his life.  The race was an extensive one and included crossing several oceans, and he had the smallest ship in the race.  He was also all alone.

Six days into the race, the weather became stormy again and the seas were rough.  Callahan did all that he could, and then he went to bed.  He was awakened with a jolt - he later figured out that the most likely cause of the accident was a whale hitting up against the side of the boat.  Either way it happened, the end result was that his boat was sinking, and he needed to get off of it as soon as possible.

There are quite a few things that contributed to Callahan’s survival against odds that have killed every other person ever faced with them:

*He was extremely knowledgeable about the ocean and how to survive in its environment.
*He had bought a six-man raft instead of the standard four-man raft after trying to climb into a four-man raft with two other friends. Apparently, life boats are like tents: You never actually want to go by the count on the outside of the box. *He had not stocked the “normal” emergency kit and left it at that. Instead, he had bought the standard kit and then added a whole lot more, throwing the whole bundle into a sea bag that he was able to grab and go with when the ship started to sink. Because of this extra preparation, he had things like a spear to kill fish with and other items he would have died without.
*He kept his cool and did not panic when the boat started to sink, allowing him to retrieve extra supplies that were very useful.
*He kept his desires to drink fresh water contained - he knew he had a very limited supply of water and was only able to procure more fresh water at a slow rate, so he rationed the water even when every fiber of his being screamed out for more.
*He was creative and smart with his hands, finding fixes for problems that would have been the death of almost anyone else.

As I read the book, I kept thinking, “Okay, what would I have done in that situation? How would I have handled it?” I compared myself to Callahan throughout, and let me just tell you right now: It’s unlikely I would have lived through the night of the boat sinking. If I had been lucky enough to scrap by through that, I wouldn’t have lasted the week.  Depressing but true.

I don’t have the knowledge of the sea and the fish that he did (I know I would have ate a poisonous fish, not realizing what I was doing), I don’t have the ability to fix things easily with my hands (I am a thinker, not a doer, at least in that sense), and most of all, I don’t keep my calm in tense situations. I would have panicked straight out of the box and died.  Lovely, eh?

Other than the interest that the book provided by helping me understand myself better, I also enjoyed it because Callahan is an excellent writer. Just imagine, for a moment, that an entire book is centered inside of a very small area (perhaps the size of your couch) and that there is only one person in that whole book. No one else to talk to, no relationships to develop - nothing but this guy and the ocean.

In most author’s hands, that would have been a recipe for disaster. Talk about boring. But Callahan did a great job of keeping the story line interesting throughout, and making you feel as if you were really living everything that he was. I found myself a lot more thirsty than normal while reading Adrift, which, when I realized what was happening, made me laugh. But after reading so much about fresh water and high temperatures, you can’t help but hit the faucet often while reading.

I also enjoyed his writing style. He has an almost poetical style of writing, and was very enjoyable to read.  He did not focus on just mere survival for the duration; he also spent quite a bit of time contemplating his life, the grand scheme of things, and of course, the great circle of life.  Not boring or dry, but definitely thought-provoking.

My only (small) critique was that there were parts of the book that were confusing to me, since I have only been on a boat a couple of times, and I certainly have no nautical knowledge. It wasn’t enough to make me not want to read the book, but I do have to say that there were some paragraphs that I skipped over, because I just didn’t have any idea of what he was talking about. Luckily that didn’t happen too often, and quickly petered out after his boat sank and he was just on the raft.

I can’t say that’s really his fault - after all, I’m the one who is knows nothing about boats.  But I thought I ought to warn you in case you get very easily frustrated with that kind of thing.

Overall, I give this book a 4.75 out of 5 stars. If you are at all interested in survival stories, or you just want a good autobiography to read, be sure to check out Adrift: Seventy Six Days Lost at Sea. It was on the New York Times bestseller list for 36 weeks - I am positive you’ll love it.

Havs

When Rabbit Howls by Truddi Chase is, by far, the most unusual book I have ever read.  It was recommended to me by Stephanie of Rocket Scientist as a good book to read if interested in multiple personalities.

I have to say, I haven’t ever read or watched anything about multiple personalities before, so I started this book with a clean slate.  Even so, this book blew me away.  I don’t even know where to start.  I guess the general outline of the book would be as good as any…

Truddi Chase was two years old when her mother left her father, and moved in with her stepfather.  This turned out to be a Very Bad Thing in Truddi’s life, because the stepfather was the biggest slimebag to ever walk the earth.  He raped Truddi, at age two.  The sexual abuse continued unabated until her teenage years, when her mother finally, finally, threw the guy out.

On top of that, Truddi was also subjected to emotional and physical abuse by both her mother and her stepfather.  Her mother knew what the stepfather was doing to her daughter, but instead of defending her daughter, she blamed the daughter for all of it, saying that she was a “dirty” person, and that it was all her fault that this was happening to her.  There were also step-siblings in the picture who were also being abused, although Truddi doesn’t focus on that very much.

There is much, much more to the emotional, sexual, and physical abuse than what I’m stating above, but it was hard enough to read the first time around - I don’t think I can bring myself to type it out.  The bottomline is, the overwhelming pain and degradation was so extreme, Truddi’s mind formed other personalities in order to deal with it all.

There are several things that are fairly common when someone has multiple personalities:

First, the core personality is the one that was present at birth, and that personality is still around and available.

Second, most counselors try to help the personalities reintegrate into one, so that there is only one person left inside of the body.

Neither of those statements are true in Truddi’s case.  When she was raped by her stepfather at age two, her core personality died, and her multiple personalities were born.  Two core personalities came into being: One that was the child personality, and one that eventually became the adult personality.  On top of those two came 90+ other personalities, all of them serving their own functions in support of Truddi.  Some personalities died, and only an echo of them was left.

Sound confusing?  Oh yeah.  This was a mind-bending book.  The multiple personalities called themselves as a whole “the Troops,” and it was the Troops who actually wrote the book.  If you look at the front cover, it says, “The Troops for Truddi Chase” as the author.

When the counselor talked to Truddi, he could see differences in her as he spoke to her, depending on which personality was controlling her.  She was tested, and there were measurable differences in speech pattern, brain wave activity, intelligence level, handwriting, posture, voice, etc, depending on the personality.  Even her eye color and cheekbone structure changed.

Get this: Some of the personalities had allergies, so during allergy season, they couldn’t come out front and be in control, because then Truddie would have been miserable.  Oh, and when one personality was in control, Truddi tested positive for pregnancy.  As soon as another personality took over, the pregnancy disappeared.

It was a mind-blowing book.  I had absolutely no idea any of this existed.  And because the book was written by the Troops, you got to see all of this from their perspective - talking to each other, talking to the counselor, doing the day-to-day tasks required to live.

I think one of the hardest things to understand was how utterly difficult this was for the woman.  The Troops created a personality that knew nothing of any abuse, so she could be the front to the world.  This personality did not think by itself, or have any desires by itself - it only did what the other personalities directed it to, which isn’t something you (or this personality) find out until late in the book.  That part just made my head hurt.

After the book was released, Truddi went on tour - she appeared on Oprah and the Phil Donohue Show.  I tried to find clips online from those appearances, but came up empty handed.  I did find out that a reporter from the Washington Post searched for Truddi’s family, and from there, found out that all of the step-brothers and sisters supported Truddi’s story, and even said that Truddi didn’t reveal all in her book: They said that on top of sexual abuse from the stepfather, she also suffered from sexual abuse from the mother too.

That was never once even hinted at in Rabbit Howls, so I’m guessing Truddi’s personalities suppressed that information very, very deep.  On the other hand (not surprisingly) the stepfather denied everything.  Wow, who saw that coming?

I tried to find follow-up information on Truddi - where is she now, how is she doing, are all of the personalities still there, etc, but came up with zip.  It’s as if she fell off the face of the planet.  If anyone has any information on what happened to her after the finish of the book, I’d love to hear about it.

I don’t know how to rate this book.  As with everything to do with it, I’m at a loss.  So I’m going to do something I’ve never done before: I’m not going to rate it.  I just don’t see how to attach a number to this book.

I will put this out there: Please, please, do not give this to your children or teenagers to read.  This is an extremely difficult book to read in terms of descriptions of different abuse that happened; if it were a movie, it would be rated X.  If language and sexuality bother you, absolutely do not pick this book up.

On the other hand, if you’re wanting to learn more about the multiple personality world, and are not easily offended, you’ll definitely want to read this.  As far as I know, this is the only multiple personality book written by the personalities themselves.  It is a rare glimpse into that world - not a pretty one, not an easy one, but one worth finding out about nonetheless.  It was hard enough for me to read this book - I cannot imagine living it.

Hava

PS If you’re interested in an in-depth look at When Rabbit Howls and multiple personality disorder in general, be sure to check out Trauma, Testimony, and Fictions of Truth: Narrative in When Rabbit Howls. It was an interesting (but long!) article that I thought did justice to the book.

I had heard about The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls from SmallWorld Reads (another book blog), who highly recommended it.  It turns out that Glass Castle was on the New York Times bestseller list for two years, and yet I had never heard of it until SmallWorld mentioned it.  Don’t ask me where I’ve been.

Now that I’ve finally read it, I can see why SmallWorld (and the rest of the world, incidentally) loved it so much.  This autobiography reminded me in some ways of Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks.  Both sets of parents had an “interesting” outlook on parenting (basically, let the kids do whatever they wanted, as long as it didn’t actually kill anyone else) and they were both raised in extreme poverty.  But while Nicholas’ parents at least tried to feed and clothe their children, Jeannette’s parents didn’t always even do that.

This is an honest and open memoir - the some of the things that Jeannette went through as a child makes your heart hurt.  Her parents, at many points during her childhood, did not provide even the most basic of necessities - food, clothing, and at some points, shelter.  Yet unlike A Child Called It, where this is because the parent is trying to torture the child, in Glass Castle it is more simply because the parents are free-spirits, with a distinct lack of planning skills.  Oh, and the father is an alcoholic who drinks most of their money away.

At one point, a family member dies, leaving the parents with a house and quite a bit of money.  I was cheering for the family at this point - surely they would use this money to actually get ahead in life, right?  But even as I was cheering for them, I knew it wouldn’t happen.  The parents are beyond irresponsible, and sure enough, the money soon disappeared. The house fell into major disrepair, and they eventually left and moved back East, leaving the house empty behind them.

The most mind-boggling part of the book is that Jeannette clearly loves her parents.  Even though they leave her and her siblings nothing to eat at various times (forcing Jeannette to eat butter for dinner at one point) and even though their parenting style is far beyond neglectful, into the realm of outright child abuse, Jeannette seems to have been able to look back on her life and appreciate the good parts about her parents, and the things they tried to do for their children.

I think this is what makes this memoir so wonderful - it is not bitter or hateful in any way.  She loves her parents, warts and all.  It is a testament to the human spirit that she could endure something like this, and still look back on it all with love for her parents.

Despite this upbringing (or perhaps in some ways, because of it) Jeannette became quite successful in the news world, eventually becoming a columnist for MSNBC.com, until she decided to take a break and just write books for a while.  If you’re interested in more information about Glass Castle, then you’ll definitely want to check out this interview done with Jeannette Walls (warning: It’s long!) where she talks about her parents, the book, and the impact it’s had on her life.

Glass Castle was a terrific memoir - one of the best I’ve read.  I give it 4.75 out of 5 stars.  If you’re one of the few people left who haven’t read this book, go check it out.  You won’t regret it.

Hava

I am the Central Park Jogger: A Story of Hope and Possibility by Trisha Meili was an amazing testament of the human will to get better - the indomitable human spirit.

I was only 8 when Trisha Meili was attacked in Central Park, and so I have no recollection of the event being publicized across the nation.  Kids can be so oblivious, and I think I tended to be more oblivious than most.  I had heard references of it in passing through the years, so when I saw her book on the shelf, I knew the very general outlines of what had happened.

But nothing could have prepared me for this book.  It was an autobiography (one of my favorite kinds of books) but better yet, it was written by a person who didn’t wallow in self-pity, who didn’t whine and complain about how hard life was, and who certainly didn’t play the blame game.  She was too busy getting better!

Can I just say how darn likable she is?  Trisha pushes herself through therapy, determined to get better, determined to not let this ruin her life.  And she had a lot of therapy to go through - she was in the hospital for seven months.  In a coma for weeks.  She has to learn how to swallow, how to roll over, how to walk, how to eat, how to think, how to make decisions - all over again.

She said that she went from being a baby to being an adult in seven months.  She is a true inspiration because she has such a can-do spirit.  For anyone who has suffered through a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) there couldn’t be a better book to read than this one.  And even for those of us who haven’t, there is still so much to learn from her.

Part of the story is her love life - she dated quite a few men throughout the book, and I kept hoping she’d find her true love by end.  And (not to ruin the story or anything!) but she finally did.  I loved reading that part, because it just seemed so fitting that after she’s gone through a rebirth in her life, she would finally be ready to find The One.

If you want a feel-good, inspirational story, you honestly couldn’t get any better than this one.

4.75 out of 5 stars.  Good luck, Trisha - I wish you all the best!

Havs

Before I get started on today’s book review, I just wanted to give a special thanks to a fellow Today.com blogger, Michael Nolan at Frugal Living Tip of the Day.  He was kind enough to make a new header for this blog, free of charge, and I now have a header that matches the subject of my blog, instead of a generic one.  I’ve already had compliments on it!  So many thanks to Michael, and for my readers, if you’re wanting to find a great site full of frugal tips, Michael’s is well written, and well done.  Be sure to head on over there.

So on to my book review: I originally checked out A.J. Jacob’s book, The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World from the library and gave it to my father to read. I figured if anyone would understand and love the quest to read the Encyclopedia Brittanica from beginning to end, it would be my dad. I didn’t read the book myself though.

Then I checked out The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible and it came home to sit on my shelf of books-I’m-going-to-read-someday. (And no, I don’t think the similarities in the subtitles are a coincidence…)

My sister came over, saw the book, thought it looked interesting, and checked it out of the library herself (my copy of the book eventually being returned unread). She really liked it, and told me I needed to read it. So I checked it out again. Returned it unread again.

The fourteenth time’s a charm - I finally read it. Funny thing was, as soon as I started reading, I was thoroughly engrossed in the story. He has an engaging writing style - easy to read, with lots of quirky humor and strange obsessions to round out his personality. Obviously, if he’s willing to read a 32-volume set of encyclopedias, or live an entire year as Biblically as possible (up to and including eating locusts, even if they were chocolate covered) then you know he’s not your average Joe.

My sister and I discussed the book and came to the conclusion: This book is great for raising questions in your mind; not so great at answering them. Why did God say that you can’t wear clothing of mixed fibers (such a blend of cotton and linen)? Or that you can’t touch a woman while she’s having her period? Or that you’re supposed to blow a horn at the beginning of each month?

I know that Christians don’t follow these rules now, but why were they put in place originally? What do these rules do for the human race?

A.J. does try to find answers to some of these questions, although more often than not, he doesn’t succeed. He is focusing on these questions because the majority of the book focuses on the Old Testament (A.J.’s family is lapsed Jewish, although A.J. is agnostic himself). He does spend several months on the New Testament, however.

He discusses a lot of red-hot social issues like abortion and homosexuality, and also things like literalism (the idea that everything in the Bible is 100% true, vs the idea that some of it and/or all of it is an allegory), and creationism (the idea that the Earth is only 6,000 years old, and that God did create the Earth in a mere six days).

Although he pretty much always comes down on the side of a more liberal point-of-view on these issues, it isn’t in an antagonistic fashion, and I don’t think too many people would get mad over his conclusions (they may not agree, but I don’t think they’d get angry at him for how he phrased his viewpoint).

He isn’t all serious - he tells some great stories that had me laughing.  He lives in New York City, and relates the following story about trying to buy some Bibles from a Christian store:

He shows me tables covered with Bibles of all shapes, sizes, and linguistic slants - from the plain-spoken English of the Good News Bible to the majestic cadence of the Jerusalem Bible.

He points out one Bible I might want. It’s designed to look exactly like a Seventeen magazine: An attractive (if long-sleeved) model graces the front, next to cover lines like “What’s Your Spiritual IQ?” Open it up and you’ll find sidebars such as “Rebecca the Control Freak.”

“This one’s good if you’re on the subway and are too embarrassed to be seen reading the Bible,” says Chris. “Because no one will ever know it’s a Bible.” It’s an odd and poignant selling point. You know you’re in a secular city when it’s considered more acceptable for a grown man to read a teen girl’s magazine than the Bible. ~ Page 9 of The Year of Living Biblically

Too true.

Overall, I thought it was an interesting look at one of the most influential books of all time, and I think that although The Year of Living Biblically may not be for everybody, it was well worth the read for me. I give it 4.25 out of 5 stars.

Now I’m going to have to go read The Know-It-All…

Havs

I have to confess: I’ve never read a single Nicholas Sparks book. I own the movie The Notebook, and only found out by pure chance a couple of weeks ago that it was based on a Nicholas Sparks book. I had no clue. I check out a lot of Nicholas Sparks books to patrons, and quite frankly, all of the titles just run together in my mind. I had never paid attention to the fact that one of them was named The Notebook. A keen eye for details, I have not.

So why did I read Three Weeks With My Brother by Nicholas and Micah Sparks? Well, I was wandering about Barnes and Noble with my husband, and for once, I was waiting for him to finish reading a book before we could go. (Needless to say, it’s usually the other way around). I wandered over to the biography section, and there was Three Weeks With My Brother. I was surprised. I hadn’t realized that Nicholas Sparks had written anything but fiction. I picked the book up and started reading.

And just loved it. I was laughing (quietly, of course - heaven forbid I get kicked out of B&N!) just a few pages in. He has an excellent writing style, which after I thought about it, realized it only made sense. The guy makes his living by writing. If his writing style left something to be desired, I rather think he wouldn’t be on the New York Times Bestseller list regularly.

I can’t testify myself that his fiction writing style is fantastic, but I can his memoir writing style. His parents were unique in their child-raising techniques, to say the least. The following is a little long, but I think captures the childhood of Nicholas and his older brother, Micah, quite well:

On the first day of kindergarten, Mom walked with Micah to the bus stop; from there forward, he walked by himself. Within a week, he told my mom that some older girls, 7th grade or thereabouts but huge to a kindergartener, had cornered him in the junkyard and taken his milk money. Then they threatened him; they said that if he didn’t bring them a nickel every day, they were going to hurt him.

“They said they’re going to beat me up bad,” Micah cried.

There are a number of ways a parent could handle such a situation. My mom could have started walking him to school regularly, for instance, or walked with him one day, confronted the girls, and threatened to call the police if another incident occurred…Not my mom. Instead, after Micah told his story, she rose from the table and…when she returned, she was carrying an old Roy Rogers lunchbox; rusty and dented, it had been her younger brother’s years before.

“We’ll put your lunch in this tomorrow, instead of a brown bag,” she said, and if they try to take your money, just wind up and hit ‘em with it. Like this…”

Cocking her arm like a lion tamer, she began swinging the lunchbox in wide arcs, demonstrating while my brother sat at the table watching.

The next day, my six-year-old brother marched off to school with his hand-me-down lunchbox. And just as they’d threatened, the girls surrounded him when he wouldn’t give them his nickel. When the first one charged, he did exactly as my mom had told him.

In our bedroom that night, Micah related to me what happened.

“I swung with everything I had,” he said.

“Weren’t you scared?”

With his lips pressed together, he nodded. “But I kept swinging and hitting them until they ran away crying.”

The girls, I might add, never bothered him again.
~Page 25 - 26 of Three Weeks With My Brother

Yup, the mother actually showed her son (a kindergartener) how to beat up a group of 7th graders, and more amazingly still, he succeeded.  The parents were big fans of the Tough Love School of Parenting.

They were…relaxed, I guess is the kindest way to put it, in their parenting style. They gave their kids BB guns, which Nicholas (they called him Nicky as a child) and Micah used with wild abandon until the sheriff came and took them away. To console the children, the parents then gave them a bow and arrow set, with real arrows. None of the wussy plastic shafts and bunted tips for them. The kids played with that until (you guessed it) the sheriff came and took that away too. They came a little too close to killing other people one too many times.

So where does the three weeks part come in? Well, in 2002, Nicholas and Micah embark on a trip around in the world, which lasts for three weeks. It’s quite an adventure, and Nicholas always starts the chapter out in present time, and then jumps back in history to their childhood. It is their autobiography, not just a story about those three weeks in 2002. And I do mean “their” - really, it’s an autobiography of the whole Sparks family, with the emphasis on Nicholas and Micah.

I cried hard and laughed a lot too - it is one of the best autobiographies that I have ever read. Even if you’ve never read a lick of Sparks’ writing and have no interest in learning more about him (hmmm…sounds familiar) if you like autobiographies, you’ll love this book. Heck, if you just love a good story, you’ll love this book.

I’m giving it a rare 5 out of 5 stars. Thanks for the amazing book, Nicky. I just might have to read one of your fiction books someday…

Havs

Dave Ramsey is one of those guys who a person either loves or hates. He tends to inspire pretty dramatic feelings both ways. Luckily for him, the majority of America seems to love him.

The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey was the first book that I ever read by Ramsey, and it was such an inspiration to me, that I instantly joined the Ramsey Fan Camp. I was struggling with some pretty large debts at that point (at least large in comparison to my income!) and I was barely keeping my head above water. I was told to read The Total Money Makeover - that it would help me. They were right.

I wish I could say that because of this book, I made major life changes and became debt free, but instead I just got a little better at juggling.  Eventually my husband and I were able to move and get into a better situation, to where we are now debt free. But the problem before was not Ramsey - it was me. Ramsey actually sums it up pretty well on page 4:

Winning at money is 80% behavior and 20% head knowledge. What we do isn’t the problem; doing it is. Most of us know what to do, but we just don’t do it. If I can control the guy in the mirror, I can be skinny and rich. We will let other books work on the skinny, and I will help you with the rich part. No, there are no secrets, and yes, this will be very hard. Hey, if it was easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.

If that kind of bluntness appeals to you, you’ll love this book.

The baby steps that Ramsey gives to get out of debt and stay there are the following (in order!):

1) Save up a baby emergency fund: $1,000.
2) Snowball your debts (a focused way of paying off your debts)
3) Finish your emergency fund: Save 3 - 6 months of expenses
4) Invest 15% of your income into a retirement fund
5) Save for your kid’s college fund (if you have children)
6) Pay off your mortgage on your home
7) Build wealth

My problem previously had been saving the $1000 baby emergency fund. When your bank account is perilously close to zero, it’s hard to fathom having $1000 in your savings account, waiting for a rainy day.  He talks about how to save the $1000 and gives some inspirational stories from people who did, so again, that was me, not him.

Okay, so onto my critiques (you knew it was coming!) As I said in Financial Peace, Ramsey is a Christian who quotes the Bible fairly regularly to make his point. If you’re not Christian, do keep that in mind. It isn’t overwhelming, but it is there.

Secondly, it has been said that Ramsey is too conservative when it comes to savings, but overly liberal when it comes to retirement numbers. I would have to agree with that. He says that you can afford to put your savings for retirement on hold until after you’ve paid off all your debts, plus saved a 3 - 6 month emergency fund, by being very generous when it comes to his estimates on a “normal” return on investments. I don’t agree that you ought to expect a 12% rate of return every year on your stocks. Yeah, it would be nice, but hardly likely. Ramsey’s great for advice on getting out of debt, but I would pick someone else to get investment advice from.

These shortcomings aside, this is a very inspirational book - it’s liberally dosed with stories from couples who have worked through debt and came out the other side debt-free and liberated. Reading stories of these “gazelle intense” couples makes you want to stand up and yell, “I can do this too!” I think this is the monetary equivalent of No Plot? No Problem by Chris Baty - Dave Ramsey makes you truly believe in yourself.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars. Yeah, he has his shortcomings, but overall, this is just a darn good book.

Hava

Photo Credit: Scol22

I read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray before I got married, so it’s been at least seven years ago, and I remember liking it. After I reviewed The Five Love Languages, I decided to reread Men are from Mars and see which of the two I thought was more helpful.

Turns out that to me, both of them are equally as helpful but in completely different ways.

In The Five Love Languages, the emphasis is on doing the right things to make your spouse happy. If your spouse was someone who appreciated Acts of Service, and you went out and bought a $100 flower arrangement for her, you’re only going to puzzle your spouse who will wonder why you can find the time to buy extravagant flowers bouquets that are going to die, but not enough time to mow the lawn.

So knowing which love language each spouse speaks is very important but that really only pertains to the “keeping your spouse happy” part of the relationship, and doesn’t speak to the communication portion of your marriage.

Example: Clothes shopping together.  If your wife asks your opinion on the shirt she just tried on, knowing that she likes the lawn mowed instead of flower bouquets isn’t going to do you any good (as you’ll quickly find out when you inform her that the shirt makes her look fat.  My advice: Back away slowly.)

To help the masses understand marital communication better, Men are from Mars presents a very simple idea: Men do not think like women, and women do not think like men.  In fact, the thought processes and the emotional needs are so different, the two sexes might as well be from two different planets (hence the name.)

The two sexes even speak two different languages, and John Gray was kind enough to provide a “translation guide” as a part of the book.  A man can use this guide when a woman is speaking so that he can understand what she would be saying, if she was speaking Martian.  And vice-versa.

For me, I enjoyed reading the book, and yes, I did see a lot of myself in the pages.  I constantly found myself saying, “Yes, that is so true!” or “Has this guy been following me around?  How does he know all of this stuff about me?”

Having said all that, I think John Gray’s success has rather gone to his head.  Perhaps this is a personal quirk, but when an author spends almost the entire introduction talking about how amazing his book is, and how much every person who reads it is going to love it, it tends to drive me a little crazy.  Let the book speak for itself - if it’s good, I’ll see that myself.  I don’t need the author (hardly a fount of unbiased opinion) telling me so.

I’ve seen other people suggest to skip the first section, so I’m not alone in my feelings.  In this case, don’t judge the book by its cover, or its introduction.

He also tends to talk about men and women in their most extreme conditions - the typical testosterone male, the typical emotional female, and although I think there is a lot of truth in what he says, I don’t think everything he says can be taken as gospel truth.  But that’s what happens when you try to write a book that tries to apply to every human being on the planet - you’re not going to end up with a perfect fit every time.  So take what you need and leave the rest.

Overall, I give Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus 4.25 out of 5 stars.   If you find yourself constantly scratching your head, wondering why you and your spouse are at loggerheads, pick this book up and see if it can work its magic on you.

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Photo Credit: MBarton837

When I first read Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions by Ben Mezrich, I wasn’t overly impressed by it, but rather pegged it as a mindless read, good for a summer afternoon at the beach.  It was more of an escapism book than you’d normally find in the nonfiction section, that’s for sure.

I had picked it up because I saw advertisements for the movie 21 (it’s based on the book) and figured it’d be fun to read.  What was surprising to me (although it shouldn’t have been, looking back on it) was the fact that the book is mostly fiction.

First, the plot: Basically, Ben Mezrich meets a guy at a party (Kevin Lewis) who says he has an amazing story to tell, and he wants Ben to tell it in a book.  Ben gets this kind of thing all the time as a writer so he really didn’t expect much, but to humor him, he agreed to listen.

Kevin told him a story that would be unbelievable to the average person: He was recruited as an MIT student, to learn how to count cards and play blackjack.  He was then sent to Las Vegas and other gambling cities to win the backers (the ones supplying the bankroll) the big bucks.  He got a cut of what he made, and became very rich because of this lifestyle.

All of that is actually true.  What’s not true is the embellishments that Ben Mezrich added to make the book more “readable,” as he put it.  In an interview with the Boston Globe, Mezrich said, “Every word on the page isn’t supposed to be fact-checkable.”  He also said, “The idea that the story is true is more important than being able to prove that it’s true.”

That really, no really bugged me.  I read a nonfiction book, expecting it to be *ahem* nonfiction.  I know, a real shocker there.  There was a laundry list of items that were completely made up (click on the link to the interview above if you’re interested) and then a whole other list of items that were exaggerated, changed, and warped in order for the book to be more “readable.”

Ben Mezrich did manage to achieve his goal of being more readable - his book became a New York Times bestseller.  I don’t like the methods used to achieve that goal though. I’ve never been a fan of the saying, “The ends justify the means,” and this was no exception.

I give Bringing Down the House 1.5 out of 5 stars, and I’m putting Ben Mezrich on my blacklist of authors.  I will never pick up one of his books again.  If you’re wanting some real information on Las Vegas, make sure to head on over to my friend’s blog, Living in Las Vegas.  It’s guaranteed 100% nonfiction.

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Hope’s Boy by Andrew Bridge was an autobiography that I really wanted to love.  The story is nothing short of a miracle: Andrew was a child raised by a mentally unstable mother (Hope) who locked him in a closet and fed him cat food, yet showered him with love.  She truly loved him, even though she couldn’t take of him physically.  The state eventually took him out of her care, and he ended up in the foster care system in California.

He spent a month in the MacLaren Hall, the Los Angeles County’s facility for foster children, and then was placed with a family who he ended up spending the rest of his childhood with.  On emancipation at age 18, he was still with that same family, which is unheard of as a regular foster child, but the family never made any move to adopt him, and he never wanted them to.  The family never treated him as one of their own, and the mother handled him very roughly at some points, although as he got older, that seemed to stop (or he at least stopped talking about it).

He eventually ends up going to college, graduates from Harvard Law School and becomes a lawyer - not a “normal” route for a foster care child, where roughly only 3% of foster care children even go to college.

As a survival mechanism, Andrew Bridge was a very withdrawn, shy child who didn’t interact with others very much, and never developed a loving bond with any of his classmates, his foster family, or really anyone at all.  His mother was in a mental institution for years, and he had virtually no contact with her for the 11 years that he was in foster care.  His grandmother tried to contact him, but because of extreme poverty, wasn’t able to very often.

Although that barrier between him and the rest of the world was one of the reasons that he survived and did as well as he did (because he never depended on others to do anything for him - he had to be independent) it also made the book into a difficult read, at least for me.  I never felt as if I truly related to him and what was going on with him - I felt as if there was a wall between me and him, and I never felt personally connected to the story.  I almost didn’t finish the book; it was a struggle to get it done.

The other problem for me was the style of writing.  I have never really liked poetry, and his style of writing would rightly be described as “poetic.”  Here’s a very brief excerpt as an example:

“As always, she had made the twin bed that morning, and now in the evening shadow, the tucked bedcover rested smooth as ink.  I flopped down, my legs hanging at the side, my ears and nose still cold from the trek across the street.  Tired, my mind emptied slowly into the raven night of the room’s deepening corners.” Page 28, “Hope’s Boy”

If that appealed to you, then you’ll love this book, because the entire book is filled with phrases like that.  To me, it was just a bit over the top.  That’s a personal preference, and I hesitate to even mention it, except it was something that bothered me throughout the book.

Overall, it was just too depressing (there never is a feel good moment in the whole book) and I never felt as if I truly got to know him, so despite my want to love it, I ended up simply liking it okay.  I’m surprised it was a New York Times Bestseller - I wouldn’t have pegged it to do that well, myself.  Did I completely miss the boat here?  Anyone else read it and want to tell me what they thought?  Leave your comments below - I want to hear from you!

3.75 out of 5 stars

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